I normally don't judge a book by its cover.... and i am talking about taking the statement literally in this case.... I have heard the statement enough times to know it is not something "not-vain" people do... i do judge it by its blurb or reputation... i mean come on how else would you know which ones to buy and later spend your precious time on.... and if something can't impress you with the 100 word blurb what are the possibilities of it impressing you with the million words??
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
An evening well spent....
You have to first understand the setting.... it was a hot day today... the sun was harsh.... but because of the rain yesterday the evening was pleasant... it wasnt windy at all... but it was pleasant... no mosquitoes either.... for evenings spent outdoors mosquitoes are a big consideration in this part of the world.... they alone can ruin your evening.... but i guess thats the silver lining for the heat.... after a pathetic movie post noon we needed coffee.... after spending an hour or two having coffee it was time for an early dinner.... didn't feel like being inside.... so we decided on this restaurant which we know does not serve great food but has a very nice open area.... you can take the stairs and reach your own private area... literally on the top of the world considering everything around is a smaller rise... you can see very far into the city from there... they dont play loud music either... the light was dim too.... so we could see far in to the city..... but because of the clouds there were very few stars.... very very few..... and like i said it wasnt windy... but it wasnt still either.... a very very slight breeze probably.... actually i am guessing at that height where there is no obstruction there would usually be a slight breze... all in all it was pleasant... we were a group of people.... i am guessing all of us having our own troubles.... who doesn't have any... we were chatting... no heart to hearts or anything... chit chat... leg pulling... probably like a million other conversations going on at the same time.... small talk.... i was there... they werent playing songs... only music.... i could hear it in the background... if you wanted you could focus on it if you didnt you could completely forget it... like so many things in the background that have a big hand in making the scene but are easily forgotten... the music played a role .... i was feeling... I can't say feeling happy or sad... or restless or at peace... i can't give the feeling a name... it didn't have any... i just felt... i felt from deep within... it got me in a mode where you appreciate things... not the "I am so happy that even the flowers on the sidewalk are so pretty" feeling... but just feeling... where everything goes a bit deeper than every day... when you listen to a song and think... dude this guy can sing and the song touches you...... it never meant what it means today.,... where you see a person slightly sad and feel what he is feeling... not just because it's a phrase and this is what you usually say... but because you feel it... and not because you have gone through the same thing... you just feel it....... where you see a kid on the sidewalk laughing and you are happy.... where you think... Jagjit Singh is dead I can't ever attend his concert again... ever... for eternity... and you feel something... it's not sadness.... sadness is different... its not restlessness.... it isnt helplesness... its a feeling.... I felt.... i didnt feel "something" i just felt.... probably felt what is to be human........ not in the "being human" way.... but felt alive...... you know how you go through the rut.... wake up go through the daily schedule and then sleep only to wake up next day and go through the entire cycle again.... it was the feeling that takes you through the next month or 2 of the rut... it's the feeling that stops you from asking yourself... what else? what next?.... i didnt get answers..... far from it... but the feeling i got was for the needlessness of needing the answers..... the questions will remain... always... they will come back to haunt me.... but for today I dont have to think about those questions.... i dont have to ignore them... the questions are there... but i felt... i felt.... cant say i am glad i felt... can't say i am happy i felt... I just felt that i felt... and for now that's enough..... tomorrow of course is another day.......
Thursday, March 1, 2012
That time of the day....
You know that time of the day when the sun has set but it's not dark yet... the time when if you are driving you would really need to think about whether to switch on the headlights.... when half the buildings have lights switched on making the other half appear in darkness..... the time they call twilight... actually the latter part of twilight when its almost dusk... I don't know the difference too much... but I think you know what time of the day i am talking about.... it's that time of the day... actually it was that time of the day.... (You take this much time to write and it changes to night already!).... the temperature in the office was too cold for comfort... i stepped out... wanted to get away for sometime... looking for an 'open air' place to be... where i could sit.... with or without company.... turns out it has to be without company.... i guess its better that way.... so i sit by this pool... actually not really by the pool... but a floor above the pool but with the pool visible on the side... and a lot of buildings all around.... if it was a natural setting i would have been in a valley... with mountains all around... in it's own concrete way the setting was equally beautiful.... It was a hot day today... so hot that the sun seemed to burn the skin... probably the reason for the too cold for comfort AC.... the evening was "breezy"... but the breeze was warm....
Sitting there by the pool... looking at the buildings... the blue sky turning black.... enjoying a glass of juice.... I looked at random pople... I heard random conversations.... I thought of random things... I thought of evenings past...actually of the same time of different days... I was thinking of the evenings in my balcony when i would try to click that perfect picture of the skyline.... wanted to create an "Evenings from my balcony" album... i have quite a few pictures.... the album never happened..... where's the time....I was thinking of days when I sat in my garden back home... having mango shake... talking to mom, dad, everybody.... I remember this one day i was in the other end of our home... dad called for me from the garden... to show me what a beautiful flower had bloomed in our garden... it wasnt an exotic flower... it was your normal everyday flower... but he called me to see it... he was happy to see it... i was happy to see it.... or may be i was happy because dad was so happy... don't know.... now that i think about it I dont know if it was his way of saying come lets talk.... he just knows the art of conversation.... the evenings.... days when i would sit in my garden by myself readin a book... almost praying to God that Mom doesn't start with "stop reading you are hurting your eyes"... actually i was reading the newspaper today and missed being afraid of Mom stopping me from reading.... isn't the experience more special just because you know it will end any time now.... but i digress... not that there was a point anyway to digress from... but still I digress....
Sitting there by the pool... looking at the buildings... the blue sky turning black.... enjoying a glass of juice.... I looked at random pople... I heard random conversations.... I thought of random things... I thought of evenings past...actually of the same time of different days... I was thinking of the evenings in my balcony when i would try to click that perfect picture of the skyline.... wanted to create an "Evenings from my balcony" album... i have quite a few pictures.... the album never happened..... where's the time....I was thinking of days when I sat in my garden back home... having mango shake... talking to mom, dad, everybody.... I remember this one day i was in the other end of our home... dad called for me from the garden... to show me what a beautiful flower had bloomed in our garden... it wasnt an exotic flower... it was your normal everyday flower... but he called me to see it... he was happy to see it... i was happy to see it.... or may be i was happy because dad was so happy... don't know.... now that i think about it I dont know if it was his way of saying come lets talk.... he just knows the art of conversation.... the evenings.... days when i would sit in my garden by myself readin a book... almost praying to God that Mom doesn't start with "stop reading you are hurting your eyes"... actually i was reading the newspaper today and missed being afraid of Mom stopping me from reading.... isn't the experience more special just because you know it will end any time now.... but i digress... not that there was a point anyway to digress from... but still I digress....
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
This is ironic.....
From my workplace everything is blocked... by everything I mean everything... mobile phones which do anything more than make/recieve calls (which mine does) .... mails to non "@placeofwork.com" ids.... both outgoing and incoming... more obviously all kinds of data storage devices... any kind of website that could even remotely help you put data on the web.... so much so that getting printer access means having to get approvals from all kinds of business heads and the country head and what not..... and no i am not in a military facility..... but blogger is not.....
and more ironic is the fact that because everything is blocked I never bothered to check blogger.. I mean come on!!! but yeah right here is this tiny window to the outside world (thank you world for remaining the same while I am at work)... the world i lose all touch with once I am inside.... not that its all bad... not having to answer calls while at work... which is the entire day has its advantages... no one disturbs you while you are busy,.. and you get to spend a lot more time with yourself while you are free.... I am not one of those people who were born with a mobile in one hand and a PSP in the other.... but you know how all of us are addicted to our phones... how finicky one gets when the phone is stolen/lost or forgotten somewhere.... how you keep getting the feeling you might be missing something... what if someone is trying to reach you.... you can't be at eaze... when i joined this "facility" i would go out every hour or so just to check if there are any "missed calls"... strangely enough there werent any most of the time.... the world kept moving on with or without me.... with time i stopped checking every hour(believe me it bruises your ego a little bit to realise no one calls you! )... now i only check when i go out for my coffee break... which is once a day... and do you know what is the best part... half the times i dont even return calls that I have and put them off to the weekend.... I hadn't realised what a blessing it is to not have to answer a phone when it rings.... imagine you get a call... you dont really want to speak to that person at that very moment but the reflex action when the phone rings is "hello!! how are you?" and after that there is no getting away.... its not that i dont like these people... but come on... all of us know there are moods when you dont want to speak to some people... and no matter how you put it... "i dont want to talk to you right now" can never be sugar coated enough... but now... Now i dont have to worry about all that... now i can not answer a phone... because literally i can not... and not feel guilty about it... and just lament over the weekend about how hard a life without cell phones is.... while smiling inwards most of the time.... and no i dont hate people/ talking to people...... in fact I love talking ( or is it speaking... considering i love blogging!!)... and people who know me would be surprised that i am happy to miss chances to speak (speaking is a hobby with me ;) )... but i am happy..... happy to not being disturbed during work hours... happy to be sad about missing some calls that i really wanted to attend... happy to not being sad when people dont call.... happy to not being in touch with the world for more than 8 hours a day... all week days!!!
and more ironic is the fact that because everything is blocked I never bothered to check blogger.. I mean come on!!! but yeah right here is this tiny window to the outside world (thank you world for remaining the same while I am at work)... the world i lose all touch with once I am inside.... not that its all bad... not having to answer calls while at work... which is the entire day has its advantages... no one disturbs you while you are busy,.. and you get to spend a lot more time with yourself while you are free.... I am not one of those people who were born with a mobile in one hand and a PSP in the other.... but you know how all of us are addicted to our phones... how finicky one gets when the phone is stolen/lost or forgotten somewhere.... how you keep getting the feeling you might be missing something... what if someone is trying to reach you.... you can't be at eaze... when i joined this "facility" i would go out every hour or so just to check if there are any "missed calls"... strangely enough there werent any most of the time.... the world kept moving on with or without me.... with time i stopped checking every hour(believe me it bruises your ego a little bit to realise no one calls you! )... now i only check when i go out for my coffee break... which is once a day... and do you know what is the best part... half the times i dont even return calls that I have and put them off to the weekend.... I hadn't realised what a blessing it is to not have to answer a phone when it rings.... imagine you get a call... you dont really want to speak to that person at that very moment but the reflex action when the phone rings is "hello!! how are you?" and after that there is no getting away.... its not that i dont like these people... but come on... all of us know there are moods when you dont want to speak to some people... and no matter how you put it... "i dont want to talk to you right now" can never be sugar coated enough... but now... Now i dont have to worry about all that... now i can not answer a phone... because literally i can not... and not feel guilty about it... and just lament over the weekend about how hard a life without cell phones is.... while smiling inwards most of the time.... and no i dont hate people/ talking to people...... in fact I love talking ( or is it speaking... considering i love blogging!!)... and people who know me would be surprised that i am happy to miss chances to speak (speaking is a hobby with me ;) )... but i am happy..... happy to not being disturbed during work hours... happy to be sad about missing some calls that i really wanted to attend... happy to not being sad when people dont call.... happy to not being in touch with the world for more than 8 hours a day... all week days!!!
Monday, June 27, 2011
last Day in Infosys
This is my farewell speech.... well mail... ok Blog! For the past year or so, actually ever since I started thinking seriously about quitting Infy (I though a lot about it... before even making my resume!), every time I looked at a last day mail I thought about how mine would read... I usually had a starting in mind... I dont think I never went as far as completing a full mail (in concept that is)... and funnily enough I can't think of any of those startings right now... but some of those mails were really awesome! take my word for it :-) How can I put in words the close to 7 and a half years spent here??? There's really no good place to start... there's actually really no good structure either... do i want it to be my memoirs.. or do i want it to be a "Thank you" "thank you" and "thank you" thingi...or do i want it to be things i will miss the most about infy... Who's interested in any of these?? I guess i will put all and leave it to the discretion of readers to read... I am sure some people will be and for others "well it was fun working with you :-)" Oh I still dont know where to start... I cant really start at the training time... I only have a vague memory of it... vaguely remember it being a lot of fun a lot of people and a lot of friendships.... It was a long time ago... it wasnt in Mysore like training is these days for most people... the SAP trg wasn't in Hyd either... started my career in Bglr DC... with the trg... which was very huge and the last buildings were the ones around building 26 (where we were seated in the project)... My first project... DC... A lot of KTs (it was really training but in projects we call them KTs!)to get to know the system... but before I could know the system or the people in the project was moved to Mangalore... at that time Mangalore had only that one DC... worked for an upgrade thr... most of the people in the team were freshers or less than an year of ABAP exp... a lot of them from my training batch (and a very dear friend from college!)... Nishant Gupta, Anuj, Neelav, Mithun (and his esteem (the car not self esteem!!)!) Mukul... we had fun times!! that phase was a phase of no work at all.... but still appreciate the efforts of Roshan Stefano D'Mello and Shankar Kotian who tried to give us work and to keep us busy... Now i know what they were going through then... now their efforts make sense.... what I remember the most about the project is the project party we had... despite the budget we had a 2 day 1 night stay at Coorg(was it coorg or someplace else! it is soo long back ago!!) sponsored by Roshan and Shankar and the people at onsite.... the trip was a lot of fun... a lot!! I have never had a project party to equal that experience!! it was great...!!! Oh that was also the time I met Rajneesh Chauhan for the first time... he has almost been a constant in my time in Infy!!
After the upgrade moved to a project for performance tuning... this project i really worked... cant say worked days and nights... but i really worked.... I put in a lot of efforts and achieved good results as well... as much as 99% performance improvement... the original code being in very very bad shape is a great factor... but come on you got to hand it to me as well!! This project was also my first interaction with Pradeep Khanna and Dinesh K. Pillai.... I remember Pradeep bowling me over with his knowledge about LDBs... that was a concept that I took some time to grasp... Pradeep I want you to know that till today if i want to find out anything about LDBs i look at the BoK submitted by you!! Also, you may not remember, but my first appraisal, was done by you (you were the consultant for the task on development), you gave me a very good rating... better than the one I had given myself... I had heard about "rate yourself high your manager will give you a rating LE that".. but never believed in it... was fresh out of college... the ideal world where people recognise you for your work and only work existed for me..... and that is the world i believed in.... you strengthened my belief in that... thank you again for that... till today i believe in it....
After this was a non project... till date i dont know what it was... we had to move data from our development server to another development server because the project was going to another vendor... needed to create IDOCs for that... Dinesh and I were the only people who worked on it....Dinesh was a functional consultant... didnt know much about the technical parts of IDOCs (at least back then)... but he did encourage me to find out and get it working... I remember working weekends and late nights for this non project!! Thanks Dinesh for all your encouragement (specially the ones in the form of chocolates and Pizzas!!) This was a very good learning experience for me... and also the phase where I converted from "I am scared of IDOCs" to "I love IDOCs.. they are so simple"!!
and then it was back to Bangalore and DC!!! oh DC!! spent some 3 years in this project.. what an interesting 3 years!! Made some really nice friends and met some really "awed" mentors! to start with Esther George Ninan my team lead in DC... if there was any problem she definitely had the solution!! I remember debugging something for 3 hours and then going to her... she debugged for 5 minutes and told me the root cause... it was a standard transaction mind you! Thanks Esther for all your help always! The thing is Esther was my team lead so before approaching Esther I would usually approach Aneesh Tirthankar De or Tirthankar Halder or Varun Chopra.. they were always ready to help... always.... I have no clue when these guys became friends rather than mentors.... but they did... and pretty good ones at that!! Thanks guys for all your help/suggestions for work/non work related things!
Around the time when Esther moved out of the project Senthilvel Periyasamy came back from onsite... Aneesh calls him my ABAP God! I mean the guy has solutions to everything related to ABAP.... and by everything i do mean everything... comes up with brilliant Ideas (remember ZTRACKER in tool shop... his brain child)... always initaites team activities... is always ready to play cricket in project parties... come on Aneesh of coure he is my ABAP God.. stop being jealous now!! and i can't even thank Senthil!! I don't want to... I don't have to!! I mean do we thank Sachin that he plays for India?? we just take it for granted!! I remember that time in DC... and I also remember thinking till the time we have Anbu, Sunil Maheshwari (2 people i wish i had interacted more with!) and Senthil there can never be a crisis situation.... I had that much faith in their abilities... they inspired me to do well!!! How can I forget Anil Atluri he gave you a free rein... let you work on your solution... nudging you here and there if you were deviating from the correct solution... but always having full faith in your abilities... his confidence in me in a way improved my confidence in me... and of course there was alway Aneesh to give my confidence a boost... he does it in a way that you dont even realise he is doing it... only 5 years later it hits you that Aneesh helped you build that confidence!!! All these people were my tehcnical gurus... my management guru Hemant K when i came to know Hemant was quitting Infy I was really sad... I felt it was a real loss to Infy (I felt the same way when i found out Rajesh Rao was quitting... but then i had never interacted with Rajesh... other than a few "please approve this" or team meetings while in Singapore" )... he is the reason i got aquainted with Allocations and Invoicing... he made me do it... I know it is a boring job... and I believe if it was someone else who had made me do it i would have hated him/her... but Hemant made it interesting... I don't know how... probably because he made me automate it.... wrote a few programs in ABAP to convert dart data to various formats so that the whole billing process takes only a few hours... what was a pain was allocations... billing became a smooth machine with all this automation... made the team fill up DART religiously... gives me reason to believe that if a manager really wants the team will fill DART and Radar (I know now it is IPM+) properly!! it wasnt an appraisal task... but the team still did it... if you had any problem... he will sit you down listen to you talk with you... sometimes he had a real solution sometimes he didnt... but whenever i came back after speaking to him I felt better about my problem... if you don't look up to such a manager whom will you look up to!! During all this time there was a constant partner in crime and pain... weekend and weekday... Ashish Kumar!! Dude it was fun working together.... in fact we hardly worked together... it was fun having coffee together!! oh the times of 6 people in the ABAP team... all in one cubicle... all of us turning our chairs and discussing things... from as important as "there will be a day when there will be only Balwant Singh in the team" to as unimportant as "how can someone watch Kabhi Alvida naa Kehna".. (Anant Lokapur sent a one page mail on why someone should watch it!.. that is passion) I was just thinking about people in the team at that time... i recalled Nishant Rustagi ... he has been another constant in my life in Infy till time allowed... we joined Infy together... then we joined DC together... then we travelled to Mangalore together... i came back to DC a few months after he did... then he joined Chd a few months after i did.... one of the most interesting people I have met... and the person who really taught me to forgive... seriously... what will you do with a grudge or hatred??
Talking about constants even Makkathai Ramakumar and I have been in a lot of same projects ... but we haven't really worked together a lot...in fact we have worked together very little... but somehow it's always nice talking with Ram... he is ever so polite... and so very different from my first impression of him (my first interaction with you was when you rejected the TS i had sent with one of my initial DC developments with a "did you even get it reviewed" kind of a comment... I was actually scared of you back then... but now well whatever small conversations we have I enjoy it :-)
Soon after that 6 people phase in DC I went onsite to Singapore... my second onsite.... first being a short trip to South Africa... how I wish it was more than a week and i had time to go to a Safari!! Singapore... the year that i spent there was so much fun! Singapore is such a cool place to shop!! Aneesh thanks for all the company...how can I ever forget all those coffee breaks weekends and friday night parties!! Saurav Mukherjee one summer vacation I will definitely come thr... and we will call Aneesh as well and we will relive the old days! Singapore is also the place where i took up inline skating.... you ask why.... well isnt skating on the sea beach something that sounds interesting??? Vamsee Maadireddy my companion in skating and the baked rice afterwards!!! and then there was Aditya Aluru... alway laughing... and by always i mean always not sometimes... and by laughing i mean laughing and not smiling!!! and of course Chittaranjan Pradhan's imitations of Aditya... Chitta how do you come up with all those PJs!!! Then there was Dinesh Sir (DRAO) ever so considerate ever so helpful and so hardworking!! another manager that I look up to... and one person who fed us("the bachelors") a lot of times!
<<< thanks to auto shut down I have to rewrite the part about Chandigarh again!!>>>
After that was Chandigarh... if you have been to Chd DC after working in other DCs in Infy you will know what i mean when i say I got a cultural shock when i moved to Chd... people spend hours in the pantry... they gossip... and somehow there is something different in the air itself... it doesn't feel like an Infy office... it feels like an extension of college.... at least thats what it felt like on my first day... and I remember wondering does anyone ever work here.... but after having spent enough time in the DC I know people get work done.... they just work differently... spend time in the pantry and then work late nights if required.... i know what sounds wrong with the statement... what about work-life balance what about coordinating with people etc etc... the bottomline is work gets done... when i joined in chandigarh my team was pretty small... there were Gaurav Jagya (sorry Gaurav04), Ravish Garg, Azra, Neerja Thakur, Vivek Pandey, Ashish Ranjan, Bhaskar Rao Javvaji , Mandeep Wadhawan and Vijay Sharma in the team.... it was a hardworking team... a motivated team ... a team that believed in finding solutions rather than asking for solutions... and a team with very high team spirit (something to do with those coffee breaks??) the team kept growing and changing after that... but the attributes of the team remained the same... (including calling me Ma'am/Madam! why guys (by guys i mean guys and not people)????) F_ABAP_Offshore I have always loved working with you... really really loved you... and there's been a lot of things that i learnt from you guys... and i thank you for that! There hasn't been a dull moment in Firmenich... be it the FIRquiz or the FPL or well even plain simple work... it always was fun!! Taranamjit Dhindsa I always knew i could count on you... Thanks for that! I cant stop talking about Firmenich before mentioning Mohan Iyer, thanks for all your help and guidance! Girish Madan, Kamlesh Kumar and Santanu Basu Mallick thanks for always providing me with required support!
and there were so many Functional consultants that i looked up to... CA Keshav Rao, Hemant Suresh Salgaokar, Vikas Soni, Hema ji, Amit Harit, Dinesh Kakkar, and of course Vijay and Raj.. I hope you enjoyed working with me as much as i did working with you!
Finally Hyd!! I worked in this project for a very little time... by the time i got used to it and started enjoying myself here it was time to wrap up my things and leave... but nonetheless... RT_OFFSHORE all the best for your future i really wish I had spent more time with you guys... but whatever little time i did spend I thoroughly enjoyed it!! A special mention of AjayKumar S I really like your staright forward and "to the point" way of working... I really hope you keep working like that!!
The blog is already 4 pages long and there are so many things i haven't spoken about and cant for space constraints! ...... like the time in Geneva... specially the tuesdays... or the Synch meetings in Singapore.... or ... well i realised I have started talking about these things after saying I can't.... i will shut up now... and let you remember the times... your time in Infy.... and if i was a part of it... then Cheers!
After the upgrade moved to a project for performance tuning... this project i really worked... cant say worked days and nights... but i really worked.... I put in a lot of efforts and achieved good results as well... as much as 99% performance improvement... the original code being in very very bad shape is a great factor... but come on you got to hand it to me as well!! This project was also my first interaction with Pradeep Khanna and Dinesh K. Pillai.... I remember Pradeep bowling me over with his knowledge about LDBs... that was a concept that I took some time to grasp... Pradeep I want you to know that till today if i want to find out anything about LDBs i look at the BoK submitted by you!! Also, you may not remember, but my first appraisal, was done by you (you were the consultant for the task on development), you gave me a very good rating... better than the one I had given myself... I had heard about "rate yourself high your manager will give you a rating LE that".. but never believed in it... was fresh out of college... the ideal world where people recognise you for your work and only work existed for me..... and that is the world i believed in.... you strengthened my belief in that... thank you again for that... till today i believe in it....
After this was a non project... till date i dont know what it was... we had to move data from our development server to another development server because the project was going to another vendor... needed to create IDOCs for that... Dinesh and I were the only people who worked on it....Dinesh was a functional consultant... didnt know much about the technical parts of IDOCs (at least back then)... but he did encourage me to find out and get it working... I remember working weekends and late nights for this non project!! Thanks Dinesh for all your encouragement (specially the ones in the form of chocolates and Pizzas!!) This was a very good learning experience for me... and also the phase where I converted from "I am scared of IDOCs" to "I love IDOCs.. they are so simple"!!
and then it was back to Bangalore and DC!!! oh DC!! spent some 3 years in this project.. what an interesting 3 years!! Made some really nice friends and met some really "awed" mentors! to start with Esther George Ninan my team lead in DC... if there was any problem she definitely had the solution!! I remember debugging something for 3 hours and then going to her... she debugged for 5 minutes and told me the root cause... it was a standard transaction mind you! Thanks Esther for all your help always! The thing is Esther was my team lead so before approaching Esther I would usually approach Aneesh Tirthankar De or Tirthankar Halder or Varun Chopra.. they were always ready to help... always.... I have no clue when these guys became friends rather than mentors.... but they did... and pretty good ones at that!! Thanks guys for all your help/suggestions for work/non work related things!
Around the time when Esther moved out of the project Senthilvel Periyasamy came back from onsite... Aneesh calls him my ABAP God! I mean the guy has solutions to everything related to ABAP.... and by everything i do mean everything... comes up with brilliant Ideas (remember ZTRACKER in tool shop... his brain child)... always initaites team activities... is always ready to play cricket in project parties... come on Aneesh of coure he is my ABAP God.. stop being jealous now!! and i can't even thank Senthil!! I don't want to... I don't have to!! I mean do we thank Sachin that he plays for India?? we just take it for granted!! I remember that time in DC... and I also remember thinking till the time we have Anbu, Sunil Maheshwari (2 people i wish i had interacted more with!) and Senthil there can never be a crisis situation.... I had that much faith in their abilities... they inspired me to do well!!! How can I forget Anil Atluri he gave you a free rein... let you work on your solution... nudging you here and there if you were deviating from the correct solution... but always having full faith in your abilities... his confidence in me in a way improved my confidence in me... and of course there was alway Aneesh to give my confidence a boost... he does it in a way that you dont even realise he is doing it... only 5 years later it hits you that Aneesh helped you build that confidence!!! All these people were my tehcnical gurus... my management guru Hemant K when i came to know Hemant was quitting Infy I was really sad... I felt it was a real loss to Infy (I felt the same way when i found out Rajesh Rao was quitting... but then i had never interacted with Rajesh... other than a few "please approve this" or team meetings while in Singapore" )... he is the reason i got aquainted with Allocations and Invoicing... he made me do it... I know it is a boring job... and I believe if it was someone else who had made me do it i would have hated him/her... but Hemant made it interesting... I don't know how... probably because he made me automate it.... wrote a few programs in ABAP to convert dart data to various formats so that the whole billing process takes only a few hours... what was a pain was allocations... billing became a smooth machine with all this automation... made the team fill up DART religiously... gives me reason to believe that if a manager really wants the team will fill DART and Radar (I know now it is IPM+) properly!! it wasnt an appraisal task... but the team still did it... if you had any problem... he will sit you down listen to you talk with you... sometimes he had a real solution sometimes he didnt... but whenever i came back after speaking to him I felt better about my problem... if you don't look up to such a manager whom will you look up to!! During all this time there was a constant partner in crime and pain... weekend and weekday... Ashish Kumar!! Dude it was fun working together.... in fact we hardly worked together... it was fun having coffee together!! oh the times of 6 people in the ABAP team... all in one cubicle... all of us turning our chairs and discussing things... from as important as "there will be a day when there will be only Balwant Singh in the team" to as unimportant as "how can someone watch Kabhi Alvida naa Kehna".. (Anant Lokapur sent a one page mail on why someone should watch it!.. that is passion) I was just thinking about people in the team at that time... i recalled Nishant Rustagi ... he has been another constant in my life in Infy till time allowed... we joined Infy together... then we joined DC together... then we travelled to Mangalore together... i came back to DC a few months after he did... then he joined Chd a few months after i did.... one of the most interesting people I have met... and the person who really taught me to forgive... seriously... what will you do with a grudge or hatred??
Talking about constants even Makkathai Ramakumar and I have been in a lot of same projects ... but we haven't really worked together a lot...in fact we have worked together very little... but somehow it's always nice talking with Ram... he is ever so polite... and so very different from my first impression of him (my first interaction with you was when you rejected the TS i had sent with one of my initial DC developments with a "did you even get it reviewed" kind of a comment... I was actually scared of you back then... but now well whatever small conversations we have I enjoy it :-)
Soon after that 6 people phase in DC I went onsite to Singapore... my second onsite.... first being a short trip to South Africa... how I wish it was more than a week and i had time to go to a Safari!! Singapore... the year that i spent there was so much fun! Singapore is such a cool place to shop!! Aneesh thanks for all the company...how can I ever forget all those coffee breaks weekends and friday night parties!! Saurav Mukherjee one summer vacation I will definitely come thr... and we will call Aneesh as well and we will relive the old days! Singapore is also the place where i took up inline skating.... you ask why.... well isnt skating on the sea beach something that sounds interesting??? Vamsee Maadireddy my companion in skating and the baked rice afterwards!!! and then there was Aditya Aluru... alway laughing... and by always i mean always not sometimes... and by laughing i mean laughing and not smiling!!! and of course Chittaranjan Pradhan's imitations of Aditya... Chitta how do you come up with all those PJs!!! Then there was Dinesh Sir (DRAO) ever so considerate ever so helpful and so hardworking!! another manager that I look up to... and one person who fed us("the bachelors") a lot of times!
<<< thanks to auto shut down I have to rewrite the part about Chandigarh again!!>>>
After that was Chandigarh... if you have been to Chd DC after working in other DCs in Infy you will know what i mean when i say I got a cultural shock when i moved to Chd... people spend hours in the pantry... they gossip... and somehow there is something different in the air itself... it doesn't feel like an Infy office... it feels like an extension of college.... at least thats what it felt like on my first day... and I remember wondering does anyone ever work here.... but after having spent enough time in the DC I know people get work done.... they just work differently... spend time in the pantry and then work late nights if required.... i know what sounds wrong with the statement... what about work-life balance what about coordinating with people etc etc... the bottomline is work gets done... when i joined in chandigarh my team was pretty small... there were Gaurav Jagya (sorry Gaurav04), Ravish Garg, Azra, Neerja Thakur, Vivek Pandey, Ashish Ranjan, Bhaskar Rao Javvaji , Mandeep Wadhawan and Vijay Sharma in the team.... it was a hardworking team... a motivated team ... a team that believed in finding solutions rather than asking for solutions... and a team with very high team spirit (something to do with those coffee breaks??) the team kept growing and changing after that... but the attributes of the team remained the same... (including calling me Ma'am/Madam! why guys (by guys i mean guys and not people)????) F_ABAP_Offshore I have always loved working with you... really really loved you... and there's been a lot of things that i learnt from you guys... and i thank you for that! There hasn't been a dull moment in Firmenich... be it the FIRquiz or the FPL or well even plain simple work... it always was fun!! Taranamjit Dhindsa I always knew i could count on you... Thanks for that! I cant stop talking about Firmenich before mentioning Mohan Iyer, thanks for all your help and guidance! Girish Madan, Kamlesh Kumar and Santanu Basu Mallick thanks for always providing me with required support!
and there were so many Functional consultants that i looked up to... CA Keshav Rao, Hemant Suresh Salgaokar, Vikas Soni, Hema ji, Amit Harit, Dinesh Kakkar, and of course Vijay and Raj.. I hope you enjoyed working with me as much as i did working with you!
Finally Hyd!! I worked in this project for a very little time... by the time i got used to it and started enjoying myself here it was time to wrap up my things and leave... but nonetheless... RT_OFFSHORE all the best for your future i really wish I had spent more time with you guys... but whatever little time i did spend I thoroughly enjoyed it!! A special mention of AjayKumar S I really like your staright forward and "to the point" way of working... I really hope you keep working like that!!
The blog is already 4 pages long and there are so many things i haven't spoken about and cant for space constraints! ...... like the time in Geneva... specially the tuesdays... or the Synch meetings in Singapore.... or ... well i realised I have started talking about these things after saying I can't.... i will shut up now... and let you remember the times... your time in Infy.... and if i was a part of it... then Cheers!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
clear my head!
I love to do nothing at all... by nothing at all i don't mean nothing at all.. i mean i love to do nothing "consequential"... just bum around and think....
Monday, August 23, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
A blank page
I open the blog and stare at it... it's just a blank sheet of paper... i can make it into whatever i like....
Monday, June 7, 2010
Conversations in the head...
Ever since I started blogging, there are so many times that I have conversations in my head... I love to talk.... and sometimes I think of something to say and then think it's silly to say it...
Monday, April 19, 2010
Here there everywhere
i am sitting in a bar kind of a place... Not really a bar... A place you can 'hangout' at... It has a bar counter few pool tables and a few game machines and of course big screens showing football! We are a group of 5 so I am sitting here listening to music while my friends play a round... And of course i am blogging... Am thinking about the day that was today... Had a nice day... Woke up not so late... Vacuum-ed... Had a good lunch at a friend's place... Came back cleaned the appartment... In the evening went for a walk at the lakeside... Laughed at a few things i picked up from people's conversation.... Thought about the fact there is no one i could share the joke with... Thankfully a friend smsed at the same time i told him the 'joke' we laughed together over sms... He was sitting by a riverside reading a book having a beer and we were having this pseudo conversation... Right then i was with him... We lughed together i was there with him in another country.... I was here with my colleagues havin an ice cream... Followed by a coffee (eeeks!) sitting by the lake side... Thinking about another friend... He happens to have his birthday today... We have shared some nice times here in Geneva.... We have talked about everything... By the lakeside... While shopping while eating... After work... How I hated he was a colleague... There are somethings you can't tell someone you know from work... Specially considering the work relation we shared... Funny today also happens to be the day we arent colleagues anymore... I am thinking am I glad he is not my colleaue aymore? Am I sad? I don't know... But would have been great if he could be both at the same time!
Sitting in this place with earphones in my ears i cant really hear the outside noise... I can see these people i have been with for quite sometime play... from their body language i can guess what they would be saying... I am sitting here... Smiling... Thinking about knowing them... Been a long time.... So many people you spend time with when you are together and when u leave u leave... But there are people you can never leave....and there are people you think you have left... but you haven't.... You think this is the last time you are meeting them... After all you live in the real world... Keep in touch is limited to mails gtalk facebook and then after sometime not even that... I like facing this reality at the time of saying bye.... No use fooling myself.... But tell u what... Life is always smarter than you... You say your good byes and then you meet six years later on a trip from Geneva to Genova... I was soo sure 6 years ago was the real goodbye..... But no!
You are going swimming in the morning and another 'goodbye' messages you... What made u wake up that early!! Seems like my goodbyes are never good eough.... Or am i just plain simple lucky.... There are people I was sure I will meet again... And now 7 years and I haven't met them... Not once.... Don't know if i ever will.... That's for time to tell but i wish i had said my goodbye then may be that would have made me meet them.... If not at least i wouldn't be waititng....
Today was a day i could have sat at the lake and introspected... Thought about people... Around me with me.... Picked up on their conv..... Smiled... Somehow whatever happens around u, if you try hard enough, you can associate an incident of your life with it... For me i dont have to try i automatically map it to my life... Even if by a bleak link... I do..... I can sit at a place and watch people for endless hours.... People are interesting they always come with stories..... Interesting ones at that.... Those teenage girls at the cafe... So 'loudly' dodging a guy.... Kids! What can you say.... That tired mom scolding her kid and the kid brother comforting the kid sis later.... Dont think either of 'em will remember it.... I will.... For a long time.... Can't say life time... You know how life is a 'heatless bitch' but i love it all the same.... For all it's games it's interesting.....
Sitting in this place with earphones in my ears i cant really hear the outside noise... I can see these people i have been with for quite sometime play... from their body language i can guess what they would be saying... I am sitting here... Smiling... Thinking about knowing them... Been a long time.... So many people you spend time with when you are together and when u leave u leave... But there are people you can never leave....and there are people you think you have left... but you haven't.... You think this is the last time you are meeting them... After all you live in the real world... Keep in touch is limited to mails gtalk facebook and then after sometime not even that... I like facing this reality at the time of saying bye.... No use fooling myself.... But tell u what... Life is always smarter than you... You say your good byes and then you meet six years later on a trip from Geneva to Genova... I was soo sure 6 years ago was the real goodbye..... But no!
You are going swimming in the morning and another 'goodbye' messages you... What made u wake up that early!! Seems like my goodbyes are never good eough.... Or am i just plain simple lucky.... There are people I was sure I will meet again... And now 7 years and I haven't met them... Not once.... Don't know if i ever will.... That's for time to tell but i wish i had said my goodbye then may be that would have made me meet them.... If not at least i wouldn't be waititng....
Today was a day i could have sat at the lake and introspected... Thought about people... Around me with me.... Picked up on their conv..... Smiled... Somehow whatever happens around u, if you try hard enough, you can associate an incident of your life with it... For me i dont have to try i automatically map it to my life... Even if by a bleak link... I do..... I can sit at a place and watch people for endless hours.... People are interesting they always come with stories..... Interesting ones at that.... Those teenage girls at the cafe... So 'loudly' dodging a guy.... Kids! What can you say.... That tired mom scolding her kid and the kid brother comforting the kid sis later.... Dont think either of 'em will remember it.... I will.... For a long time.... Can't say life time... You know how life is a 'heatless bitch' but i love it all the same.... For all it's games it's interesting.....
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
When Google failed me....
You know how google knows everything.... everything from the lyrics of that song that you remember just one line from... to when winter olympics are ending... or have they already ended?? These guys even remember the 333rd birthday of an arbit guy and "create" a logo after him ... many a times a guy i haven't heard about till i scroll on the "google" logo... and they commemorate him... after all everyone should be commemorated on their 333rd birthday! Every time i have a doubt in my mind what is the first thing i do? I google it, of course... was the women's bill passed? Answer : Google; how to get to Augustin from Meyrin? Answer: Google; what is the average height of women in India (After a friend argues a woman 5'5" tall is short-normal as opposed to my opinion of tall-normal ) I know if i have a question.. Google will have the answer... it does...
Apparently not anymore... seems like i dont have innocent questions anymore... Google does not tell me what to do if i realise the dessert I my vegetarian friend is really looking forward to eat has egg... I am in a big dilemna google doesn't know the answer... for a fact... like it knows the answer to when winter olympics are ending...
when i want to know do i really want this in life... google doesn't know the answer again... Do i want to face it as a challenge and do it anyway or realise i dont want to do it and back off... am i telling myself i dont want to do it because its hard to do or is it because i really dont want to do it... i ask this to google it gives me about "9,480,00" hits... i dont think anything is useful considering the first hit is "American Psycho(2000) memorable quotes"...
I think google isnt really what i thought in my mind it was... i thought it had all answers.... but today i realised it has none... I am facing a mid life crisis, google doesn't know what to do about it... although it does clearly define mid life crisis for me...
My boy friend ditches me and its his birthday today Google doesn't know if i should wish him... but it does know of stories of what people did on the 1st birthday after break up...
but what is interesting is... if you google a real life problem, google does give you hits... an in-numberable number of hits,... and without fail there will be some hits that interest you... and you will start reading those... and from there to something else to something else to something else... till the time you start reading about Iraq war completely forgetting about the ex and the birthday and having a good time.... In a way that's google's answer to your problem... it doesnot tell you what to do... but in a way makes you do it... that is forget about your problems...
So did google really fail me???? Well Noo!!!!!
Apparently not anymore... seems like i dont have innocent questions anymore... Google does not tell me what to do if i realise the dessert I my vegetarian friend is really looking forward to eat has egg... I am in a big dilemna google doesn't know the answer... for a fact... like it knows the answer to when winter olympics are ending...
when i want to know do i really want this in life... google doesn't know the answer again... Do i want to face it as a challenge and do it anyway or realise i dont want to do it and back off... am i telling myself i dont want to do it because its hard to do or is it because i really dont want to do it... i ask this to google it gives me about "9,480,00" hits... i dont think anything is useful considering the first hit is "American Psycho(2000) memorable quotes"...
I think google isnt really what i thought in my mind it was... i thought it had all answers.... but today i realised it has none... I am facing a mid life crisis, google doesn't know what to do about it... although it does clearly define mid life crisis for me...
My boy friend ditches me and its his birthday today Google doesn't know if i should wish him... but it does know of stories of what people did on the 1st birthday after break up...
but what is interesting is... if you google a real life problem, google does give you hits... an in-numberable number of hits,... and without fail there will be some hits that interest you... and you will start reading those... and from there to something else to something else to something else... till the time you start reading about Iraq war completely forgetting about the ex and the birthday and having a good time.... In a way that's google's answer to your problem... it doesnot tell you what to do... but in a way makes you do it... that is forget about your problems...
So did google really fail me???? Well Noo!!!!!
Friday, March 5, 2010
You enjoying working with us?
I am walking to the elevator, have to go down to debug something, apparently I debgged the same issue last May. I do remember i did it, only because of the people i interacted with.. I remember the interactions but the pure non work part of it... I remember we had solved it... and I moved on... the mail tells me i had found out the root cause.. same issue now, someone wants me to confirm why is the issue still occuring... yes you can say i am where I was an year ago... my professional life hasn't moved even a single bit... I have reached a point where this doesn't hurt anymore... but that's besides the point... that's not why I had started writing at the first place... let me restart...
There is an issue and I have to go down to debug... I meet my boss on the way down... I dont know if he is my boss... but I dont mind saying that... no ego/self respect whatsoever... i can very easily call him my client counterpart... I think role definition wise that is what he is.... But i dont mind.. it doesn't really matter... he is a good guy.. i like working with him... he is still alive.. manages to joke all the time... so I was in the elevator with him... and as usual we were joking around... and he asks me, "so you enjoy working in this project" i was taken aback... but i smile and answer politely "yesss" and the elevator ride came to an end... (Geneva is not really a place of high rise buildings!) but i am still in the "taken aback" stage... i try to remember last time one of my "bosses" asked me do I enjoy working? I dont think anyone ever did.... No... For that matter I dont even remember asking people who report to me, if they enjoy working in the project... I often tell them the importance of liking what they are doing... of enjoying working on ABAP... but i dont remember if i ever asked them if they enjoy it... may be i should... may be a huge percent will reply politely like i replied politely today... do i enjoy working? i can say without guilt, i used to... I used to sing while working... that is how much i liked it... once upon a time... i remember trying to tell my boss how i dont enjoy working anymore... i dont know if he understood what i meant... i think he took it to mean i need more responsibility... i think i have more responsibility today... but is it the responsibility i like? is it the responsibility i wanted? i dont know... who knows... well i know... but u know what .. i am not one to run away or crib... not that i dont crib... but i believe that all my cribs are my problems and i have to find a solution to them... and i have found a solution to my current problems.... but what is more important is i have decided not to be bothered too much by them... i mean i do my best... i really do... and thats the best i can... so if certain things dont get sorted out with it... then thats it... well on second thoughts i dont know if i do my best... i dont even know what my best is.. afterall can you really do your best when you aren't even enjoying what you are doing... and who knows... everyone has the calibre to surprise themselves with thr achievements... may be i will one day... but for now after a long time i know what i have to do... and that is be happy and ........
PS: Thanks Monsieur for that nasty mail... it was an epiphany!!
There is an issue and I have to go down to debug... I meet my boss on the way down... I dont know if he is my boss... but I dont mind saying that... no ego/self respect whatsoever... i can very easily call him my client counterpart... I think role definition wise that is what he is.... But i dont mind.. it doesn't really matter... he is a good guy.. i like working with him... he is still alive.. manages to joke all the time... so I was in the elevator with him... and as usual we were joking around... and he asks me, "so you enjoy working in this project" i was taken aback... but i smile and answer politely "yesss" and the elevator ride came to an end... (Geneva is not really a place of high rise buildings!) but i am still in the "taken aback" stage... i try to remember last time one of my "bosses" asked me do I enjoy working? I dont think anyone ever did.... No... For that matter I dont even remember asking people who report to me, if they enjoy working in the project... I often tell them the importance of liking what they are doing... of enjoying working on ABAP... but i dont remember if i ever asked them if they enjoy it... may be i should... may be a huge percent will reply politely like i replied politely today... do i enjoy working? i can say without guilt, i used to... I used to sing while working... that is how much i liked it... once upon a time... i remember trying to tell my boss how i dont enjoy working anymore... i dont know if he understood what i meant... i think he took it to mean i need more responsibility... i think i have more responsibility today... but is it the responsibility i like? is it the responsibility i wanted? i dont know... who knows... well i know... but u know what .. i am not one to run away or crib... not that i dont crib... but i believe that all my cribs are my problems and i have to find a solution to them... and i have found a solution to my current problems.... but what is more important is i have decided not to be bothered too much by them... i mean i do my best... i really do... and thats the best i can... so if certain things dont get sorted out with it... then thats it... well on second thoughts i dont know if i do my best... i dont even know what my best is.. afterall can you really do your best when you aren't even enjoying what you are doing... and who knows... everyone has the calibre to surprise themselves with thr achievements... may be i will one day... but for now after a long time i know what i have to do... and that is be happy and ........
PS: Thanks Monsieur for that nasty mail... it was an epiphany!!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
To be innocent and Naive!!
Oh how great it is when your eyes are still opening to this world... when you dont know many things... when people's reactions come as shock to you... no i am not being arrogant and no i am not saying i know everything... but yet in somecases i know a lot more than i would like to.... i know without even looking that i dont have to worry about the estra IDOC getting created... its a config... and someone spent hours looking for it... is in office till late figuring out the why and what... i remember... when i started my career i spent half a day figuring out an issue which i was getting because i hadn't checked the "upper/lower case" check box... was my 2-3rd day on real work... it was great "figuring" that out... in a way i am glad no one came along and told me this... i remember discovering IDOCs for the first time... how the whole set up is done... how the data is transferred... creating an my 1st idoc... and then spending a few hours and not being able to figure out why is it still in 03... and then someone came along and told me you have to run a report to push it out.... she was a Godess... no one else could know soo much... i literally was in awe of her for soo long... she kne everything... and yet there were people who knew more than her... wasnt it amazing to work amidst such people....
somewhere along the line i lost all this... now i know the report to push idocs exists... even if i dont know its name... i atleast know it exists... even if i dont know for sure it exists i know for sure that there is a possibility it exists... this knowing of the possibility just kills the charm of finding out the report... simply kills it.... whats the charm of discovering something you know exists??
its like i am bored simply because i am a grown up... once upon a time a dolphin show would have amazed me... now i know its just conditioning.... how much charm would a magic show be if you already know what the tricks are???
how many times is a holiday destination not as much fun as it was on tv (well good for me i go for holidays not for the location but for the company and "lets do nothing")....
if only i was as innocent as i was 10 years ago... when the world was filled with people who loved me and would do things because it helped others despite it not benefitting them at all... innocence... something i miss... thank God for the Innocent smoothie though :-)... it never ceases to make me smile... not amaze me but atleast i smile... i dont know if you have had an "innocent" smoothie from the carton (not the small bottle but the 1 litre carton)... the smoothie is good ok... they say its made from real fruit and not concentrate and i believe them... but what i like specially is their box... the things they write on the box... in the ingredients for one particular smoothie they write "5 bananas, 20 strawberries, 20 grapes, half a mango etc etc etc 0 trumpets"... yes the instrument trumpet... 0... ofcourse i know it is silly... i dont expect trumpets in my smoothie... and yes it is useless to mention it i already know it... its obvious... but it is still fun reading it... and then there is one side which i like to call the free text side... till today i haven't seen 2 smoothie cartons with same free text... there was one which had a picture of pyramids on it and a text saying no link we just wanted to draw it and didnt know where... there was one carton which promised that the smoothie is made from real crushed fruit and not concentrate and does not contain preservative... and it said if i dodnt believe them i can go tell their moms!! there was one carton which had a monkey on it.. it said this is space every body needs space i need space u need space the monkey that went to space needed space... and even mango trees need space so that they can grow.... space enough for a tractor to pass between 2 trees for them to be healthy trees and eventually healthy fruit... and then there is the bottom of the bottle... usually there is one or 2 lines there... there was one bottle which had a few quotes about ends from a few famous people and a quote saying your smoothie ends here from innocent.... there was one which said "this smoothie contians no white barry only berries.. ok that was bad" ... :-) i expect to hear it on a talk show... not on my smoothie bottle... and just by doign this they have in me a faithful customer... i have to stop myself from reading what is on the carton the moment i buy it... i like reading it when i am having my smoothie... i have read the "with free language lessons" so many times.. .i read it everytime... i love the smoothie... more for its cover than the real thing... i would so like to say this is because it reflects about the attitude of the people in the top management in turn the attitude of the entire company... i mean what is it in the end? at max a team of 3 people looking up arbit stuff to put on the bottles and coming up with a way to ensure that 2 texts get distributed in far awya areas... and frankly i havent even had enough smoothies to be sure they havent ever repeated a free text... if i think about it its nothing... but it is fun to read it and i am not thinking about it... so yes.. i dont buy this smoothie for the taste or the real fruit or the health reasons... more thann anything i buy this smoothie for the packaging it comes in... it's a standard pack... its interesting and its a bonus that it tastes great (atleast to me) and is made from real fruit (yes i believe them when they say it... otherwise i can tell their moms )!!
somewhere along the line i lost all this... now i know the report to push idocs exists... even if i dont know its name... i atleast know it exists... even if i dont know for sure it exists i know for sure that there is a possibility it exists... this knowing of the possibility just kills the charm of finding out the report... simply kills it.... whats the charm of discovering something you know exists??
its like i am bored simply because i am a grown up... once upon a time a dolphin show would have amazed me... now i know its just conditioning.... how much charm would a magic show be if you already know what the tricks are???
how many times is a holiday destination not as much fun as it was on tv (well good for me i go for holidays not for the location but for the company and "lets do nothing")....
if only i was as innocent as i was 10 years ago... when the world was filled with people who loved me and would do things because it helped others despite it not benefitting them at all... innocence... something i miss... thank God for the Innocent smoothie though :-)... it never ceases to make me smile... not amaze me but atleast i smile... i dont know if you have had an "innocent" smoothie from the carton (not the small bottle but the 1 litre carton)... the smoothie is good ok... they say its made from real fruit and not concentrate and i believe them... but what i like specially is their box... the things they write on the box... in the ingredients for one particular smoothie they write "5 bananas, 20 strawberries, 20 grapes, half a mango etc etc etc 0 trumpets"... yes the instrument trumpet... 0... ofcourse i know it is silly... i dont expect trumpets in my smoothie... and yes it is useless to mention it i already know it... its obvious... but it is still fun reading it... and then there is one side which i like to call the free text side... till today i haven't seen 2 smoothie cartons with same free text... there was one which had a picture of pyramids on it and a text saying no link we just wanted to draw it and didnt know where... there was one carton which promised that the smoothie is made from real crushed fruit and not concentrate and does not contain preservative... and it said if i dodnt believe them i can go tell their moms!! there was one carton which had a monkey on it.. it said this is space every body needs space i need space u need space the monkey that went to space needed space... and even mango trees need space so that they can grow.... space enough for a tractor to pass between 2 trees for them to be healthy trees and eventually healthy fruit... and then there is the bottom of the bottle... usually there is one or 2 lines there... there was one bottle which had a few quotes about ends from a few famous people and a quote saying your smoothie ends here from innocent.... there was one which said "this smoothie contians no white barry only berries.. ok that was bad" ... :-) i expect to hear it on a talk show... not on my smoothie bottle... and just by doign this they have in me a faithful customer... i have to stop myself from reading what is on the carton the moment i buy it... i like reading it when i am having my smoothie... i have read the "with free language lessons" so many times.. .i read it everytime... i love the smoothie... more for its cover than the real thing... i would so like to say this is because it reflects about the attitude of the people in the top management in turn the attitude of the entire company... i mean what is it in the end? at max a team of 3 people looking up arbit stuff to put on the bottles and coming up with a way to ensure that 2 texts get distributed in far awya areas... and frankly i havent even had enough smoothies to be sure they havent ever repeated a free text... if i think about it its nothing... but it is fun to read it and i am not thinking about it... so yes.. i dont buy this smoothie for the taste or the real fruit or the health reasons... more thann anything i buy this smoothie for the packaging it comes in... it's a standard pack... its interesting and its a bonus that it tastes great (atleast to me) and is made from real fruit (yes i believe them when they say it... otherwise i can tell their moms )!!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
charkha
ve maahiyaa tere vekhan nu....
chuk charkha gali de wich daawaan...
we lokaan bhavein main katdi... tand teriaan yaadaan de paawaan....
oh its a good song... i was listening to it today and reminded me of the time when my mom asked her mom for her charkha.. grand mom was more than happy to give it to her... Mom wanted it for the drawing room... grand mom, from the expression on her face, looked at it in a very different way... when we took it out and were cleaning it... we stopped at cleaning it... she went a step ahead and checked all the parts were in order... put the ones that weren't in order in order... then all of us tried our hand at it... trying to get a thread from cotton... despite her fraility she was still better at it than any of us... she started talking about the time she used to use it on a regular basis.... u could see it in her face... may be a time she missed... i guess a happier time... i am not sure... when she was young... she said we would all sit together and the "kookar" from the charkha was LOUD... and we would talk louder to be heard...
she was happy just talking about those days... her face had lighted up... like i have seldom seen in the near past... its a pity... the charkha... i think it took her to her days...
if she had heard this song in her youth i am sure it would have meant much more to her than it does to me... its a beautiful song... i understand it... but i cant feel it... when i tried my hand at the charkha all i could get was a 4 inch uneven thread after some 20 tries... when she told me how to do it... she got a 15inch thread in less than a minute... and she is frail! i can never feel the song... i wouldn't never know what it is to hear someone's voice in the "charkhe ki kookar".. in the tap of the keys yes may be... ( definitely ;-) ) but lets just face it... it doesnt even sound half as romantic... we maahiyaa tere vekhan nu.. chuk laptop gali de vich daah liya!!! ouch... its so bad it hurts... and i dont even know how to spin the charkha!!
the charkha a happy reality for my grand ma... a way to liberate people for Gandhi.... something that looks good in the drawing room for my mom... and to me it's just something that makes for good songs....
I wonder what will get that shine on my face and that look in my eyes when/if i am as old as my grand mom is today... will it be tapping on the key board... may be a key board that i dont throw away and keeps lying in the attic for the next 50 years when no one uses real key boards... only virtual ones... and my daughter asks for one to keep in her drawing room..... thats not a good scene... naa... i need a new fantasy.... may be i shall learn how to work on the charkha just to have this memory 50 years later..... she was happy talking about it... i thought it is only in songs where they talked about singing while working on the charkha and having fun... come on its work after all... but when my naani talked about it, it sounded like it was fun... she said we would say... "chal kudiya susta lae... chakla chhad charkha daah lae"... she talked about her friends (that i dont know of... i mean she has relatives and grand kids and kids and everything... but friends!! come on!!!) and may be she was thinking of her crushes.... her youth... a time when she was young and the world had all possibilities...... she knows what the charkhe ki kookar really sounds like... she says in summers it would be quiet in the afternoon... everyone would be asleep... even the birds... all you could hear was the charkhe di kookar and the girls talking sometimes singin... and may be some respected "buzurg" saying kudiyo chup karjo... and they just giggled... its a happy picture... even though i havent been a part it i know it is one... an innocent picture... a happy picture....
all those memories... all these pictures... just something to put in the drawing room... just something to make a song sound nicer.....
ve Charkhe di kookar de ohle...
Charkhe di kookar de ohle... yaad teri daa toomba bole...
yaad teri daa toomba bole...
ve nimma nimma geet chhed ke tand katdi hulaare khaawaan....
ve maahiyaa tere vekhan nu.....
chuk charkha gali de wich daawaan...
we lokaan bhavein main katdi... tand teriaan yaadaan de paawaan....
oh its a good song... i was listening to it today and reminded me of the time when my mom asked her mom for her charkha.. grand mom was more than happy to give it to her... Mom wanted it for the drawing room... grand mom, from the expression on her face, looked at it in a very different way... when we took it out and were cleaning it... we stopped at cleaning it... she went a step ahead and checked all the parts were in order... put the ones that weren't in order in order... then all of us tried our hand at it... trying to get a thread from cotton... despite her fraility she was still better at it than any of us... she started talking about the time she used to use it on a regular basis.... u could see it in her face... may be a time she missed... i guess a happier time... i am not sure... when she was young... she said we would all sit together and the "kookar" from the charkha was LOUD... and we would talk louder to be heard...
she was happy just talking about those days... her face had lighted up... like i have seldom seen in the near past... its a pity... the charkha... i think it took her to her days...
if she had heard this song in her youth i am sure it would have meant much more to her than it does to me... its a beautiful song... i understand it... but i cant feel it... when i tried my hand at the charkha all i could get was a 4 inch uneven thread after some 20 tries... when she told me how to do it... she got a 15inch thread in less than a minute... and she is frail! i can never feel the song... i wouldn't never know what it is to hear someone's voice in the "charkhe ki kookar".. in the tap of the keys yes may be... ( definitely ;-) ) but lets just face it... it doesnt even sound half as romantic... we maahiyaa tere vekhan nu.. chuk laptop gali de vich daah liya!!! ouch... its so bad it hurts... and i dont even know how to spin the charkha!!
the charkha a happy reality for my grand ma... a way to liberate people for Gandhi.... something that looks good in the drawing room for my mom... and to me it's just something that makes for good songs....
I wonder what will get that shine on my face and that look in my eyes when/if i am as old as my grand mom is today... will it be tapping on the key board... may be a key board that i dont throw away and keeps lying in the attic for the next 50 years when no one uses real key boards... only virtual ones... and my daughter asks for one to keep in her drawing room..... thats not a good scene... naa... i need a new fantasy.... may be i shall learn how to work on the charkha just to have this memory 50 years later..... she was happy talking about it... i thought it is only in songs where they talked about singing while working on the charkha and having fun... come on its work after all... but when my naani talked about it, it sounded like it was fun... she said we would say... "chal kudiya susta lae... chakla chhad charkha daah lae"... she talked about her friends (that i dont know of... i mean she has relatives and grand kids and kids and everything... but friends!! come on!!!) and may be she was thinking of her crushes.... her youth... a time when she was young and the world had all possibilities...... she knows what the charkhe ki kookar really sounds like... she says in summers it would be quiet in the afternoon... everyone would be asleep... even the birds... all you could hear was the charkhe di kookar and the girls talking sometimes singin... and may be some respected "buzurg" saying kudiyo chup karjo... and they just giggled... its a happy picture... even though i havent been a part it i know it is one... an innocent picture... a happy picture....
all those memories... all these pictures... just something to put in the drawing room... just something to make a song sound nicer.....
ve Charkhe di kookar de ohle...
Charkhe di kookar de ohle... yaad teri daa toomba bole...
yaad teri daa toomba bole...
ve nimma nimma geet chhed ke tand katdi hulaare khaawaan....
ve maahiyaa tere vekhan nu.....
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
darr lagta hai khud se kehne mein jee!!
Every now and then I hear my colleagues/their wives talk about buying a car... we are all expats in this country and till now none of us has one... its getting too cold here... having a car would be just convenient.... someone always mentions buying a car when we are staanding at the bus stop in bone chilling weather... somehow i never felt the need of a car... naa... the public transport is good convenient... never felt the need... dont even miss driving that much, which i used to love back home...
vishal Bhardwaj is producing Ishqiya, and as is always true with his movies the songs are amazing... i heard dil to bacha hai the other day and fell in love with it... when i fall in love with a song i usually buy the cd as soon as it is released... then on my way to/from office i play it full blast in my car and sing along in a loop... i fell in love with a song again today... dil to bacha hai jee... its hindi so cant buy the cd here... i was hearing it on youtube in a loop... on my way to office.... i couldnt sing along... i just "mummed" along... and that is when i wanted a car... my capsule in this haphazard world... i gave buying a car a thought... so that i can sing... along to a song i dont really know the lyrics of....
vishal Bhardwaj is producing Ishqiya, and as is always true with his movies the songs are amazing... i heard dil to bacha hai the other day and fell in love with it... when i fall in love with a song i usually buy the cd as soon as it is released... then on my way to/from office i play it full blast in my car and sing along in a loop... i fell in love with a song again today... dil to bacha hai jee... its hindi so cant buy the cd here... i was hearing it on youtube in a loop... on my way to office.... i couldnt sing along... i just "mummed" along... and that is when i wanted a car... my capsule in this haphazard world... i gave buying a car a thought... so that i can sing... along to a song i dont really know the lyrics of....
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
a cup of coffee
With a cup of coffee in my hand, i am sitting in the pantry... and looking out of the window... gazing at the snow capped (not covered yet... only a few months to go i guess) Alps in the far distance... thankful for the successful Go-Live today...
There are 2 people sitting at a distance and they are talking about random things, i can pick up on this conversation, they are not talking in french... The conversation they are having is a conversation i might have had with some random person sometime in my past with a few characters changed.. its a very normal conversation... did you hear XYZ has a kid, oh is it.. thats so nice... congrats... what does her husband do etc etc... normal small talk... i try to think about a similar conversation i have had... i cannot... but i can think of various conversations i have had over coffee.... about a few life changing decisions i have made over coffee.... life altering... and i think about those moments... those scenes flash in front of my eyes.... i am glad i made those decisions all of them... not glad in a "i stand by them" point of view... but glad in a i really am glad point of view..... i think about the completely useless discussions i have had over coffee, which i somehow still remember.... that lady who used to be sitting in the same seat daily (actaully am sure only about the weekdays) and writing something... and how we would talk about her being the next rowling... that was the time when HP7 (the book) was released and all we would talk about would be HP7... oh there were some coffees on the beach as well... believe me that is thought provoking... a cup of hot cappuccino in your hand... sea in the front... lots of ships in that sea... water looking amazing.... almost dusk.... and those lights in the distance which you have always argued (and never come to the conclusion) whether they are Indonesia or just some ships!!! Today sitting in that pantry on that "bar stool" gazing at the alps... i thought about all that... but most of all i thought about that one coffee i had had... that made me realise... more than the coffee it was the change in "settings" i would say that made me realise... but coffee was the catalyst i think....
coffee... what would life be without thou!!
There are 2 people sitting at a distance and they are talking about random things, i can pick up on this conversation, they are not talking in french... The conversation they are having is a conversation i might have had with some random person sometime in my past with a few characters changed.. its a very normal conversation... did you hear XYZ has a kid, oh is it.. thats so nice... congrats... what does her husband do etc etc... normal small talk... i try to think about a similar conversation i have had... i cannot... but i can think of various conversations i have had over coffee.... about a few life changing decisions i have made over coffee.... life altering... and i think about those moments... those scenes flash in front of my eyes.... i am glad i made those decisions all of them... not glad in a "i stand by them" point of view... but glad in a i really am glad point of view..... i think about the completely useless discussions i have had over coffee, which i somehow still remember.... that lady who used to be sitting in the same seat daily (actaully am sure only about the weekdays) and writing something... and how we would talk about her being the next rowling... that was the time when HP7 (the book) was released and all we would talk about would be HP7... oh there were some coffees on the beach as well... believe me that is thought provoking... a cup of hot cappuccino in your hand... sea in the front... lots of ships in that sea... water looking amazing.... almost dusk.... and those lights in the distance which you have always argued (and never come to the conclusion) whether they are Indonesia or just some ships!!! Today sitting in that pantry on that "bar stool" gazing at the alps... i thought about all that... but most of all i thought about that one coffee i had had... that made me realise... more than the coffee it was the change in "settings" i would say that made me realise... but coffee was the catalyst i think....
coffee... what would life be without thou!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A monday... without the blues!!
Mondays here are as bad as anywhere else in the world... but today i don't know what happened; it was a great monday i was happy... from within... it was the kind of day when you feel nothing can go wrong... and not that its for a great reason... from what i know whenever there is a great reason to be happy you are just excited not really happy happy... today i was happy happy... the kind when you go to a restaurant alone for lunch have a great time all by yourself... despite things not going the way they should you dont feel frustrated... you just do the best that can be done and not bother about what couldnt be... and this doesnt really bother you because today you are happy... the weather has turned very cold all of a sudden but well its nice to feel that "nip in the air"... its just a good day... and somewhere you know that nothing can go wrong.. not only today not only with you... but in general... you feel things are good... you feel "Christmas-y" only its not Christmas..... i had a day like that today and what made it even nicer was the fact that it was a Monday... i had a simply wonderful day... so great that i felt like having a mango ice cream :-) (its an entirely separately story that i didn't get it and had to make do with a vanilla one... well even a perfect day is also only that perfect)
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Ajeeb Dastan hai yeh!
feeling pretty ajeeb rt now.... think should go to sleep!
i wish i could talk to sm1 rt now... real talking face to face not chatting not on phone..... real talking... face to face heart to heart!
i wish i could talk to sm1 rt now... real talking face to face not chatting not on phone..... real talking... face to face heart to heart!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
what's better than an evening spent dancing!!!!
really there are very few evenings spent better than evenings spent dancing...
ok evenings spent dancing with great friends...
i think someone up thr is pretty happy with me... i spent an utterly amazing weekend in Mcleodganj..... went trekking... but the best part spent a night in a quiet little place... as in the place that we stayed at is somewhere on a mountain... from there you could see mountains a valley and all the stars... believe me all of them... and it was as quiet as you could hope for... naa i am not even trying to describe it.... can think of no adjectives.... and after that night a very tiring trek (i need to become more healthy!) and it was scenic... and today it was dancing with great ol friends.... what else can i ask from life?
hehe ironic.. a part of the night was spent discussing free will/ God/ and how i am agnostic and in the blog i say "someone up thr"!! Lady be consistent!!!
ok evenings spent dancing with great friends...
i think someone up thr is pretty happy with me... i spent an utterly amazing weekend in Mcleodganj..... went trekking... but the best part spent a night in a quiet little place... as in the place that we stayed at is somewhere on a mountain... from there you could see mountains a valley and all the stars... believe me all of them... and it was as quiet as you could hope for... naa i am not even trying to describe it.... can think of no adjectives.... and after that night a very tiring trek (i need to become more healthy!) and it was scenic... and today it was dancing with great ol friends.... what else can i ask from life?
hehe ironic.. a part of the night was spent discussing free will/ God/ and how i am agnostic and in the blog i say "someone up thr"!! Lady be consistent!!!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
a walk without walking!
Last night was reading this book.. the protagonist(Sylvester) is sad... the kind of sad when you despair... he has gone to drop sopmeone home.. after dropping them he asks his carriage(yeah the book was set in that era.. the before cars era) to leave for his home because he prefers to walk back... he wants to get some air and may be think a little ... relieve himslef of all that is clogging his head (or is it supposed to be heart).. i felt like taking a walk myself.. i had left work pretty late last nite... close to midnight... for some really serious things that had happened in the development environment... although the issue was serious but just the thought that we had reached the why of the thing (although the fixing would be major work and lots of person days lost) was a good one.. i was happy at the end of the day... relieved... not really happy but just content may be... not even content hassle less is more the word if you know what i mean... i could still enter into Vester's feelings... and just reading the novel made me want to go for a walk... by this time it would easliy have been 1.30ish 2...the weather was good... its very hot these days during the day... very very hot (you know chandigarh summers!) but the night was pleasant.. a slight wind was blowing.. the wind at night wasnt hot... it was the perfect weather for a walk.. only it was too late in the night.... i debated whether to go out at this hour... decided against it... felt bad for deciding against it... so i had that walk in my head... in front of my home is the side wall of a school and if i walk along the road for a few steps at less than half a minutes walk is a children's park... i dont like taking a walk in the park... it has proper paths for walking and all but taking a walk loses its charm for me when it's done on a "walk/jog path" it's like doing touristy things when you go to a tourist destination... you can only may be do them once in 10 vacations you take..... so i walked along the park but on the road... the wind was ruffling my hair... there was an ipod playing songs actually the songs were in the background.. light music not loud and definitely not "in" my ears... it was in the background... the volume where its not necessary to hear it... but you can tune into it and may be hear a line and realise you havent really heard it in the thousand times you have heard the song... that volume.... ear phones/ head phones are never really that perfect volume... there was no one around... because it was late... everything was dark but lit by the moon and stars above (which were visible.. no light pollution here!!) there were crickets making noice somewhere... there was definitely the sound of wind in leaves and there was me walking in the midst a stranger amongst freinds... an intruder.... but the beauty is nature welcomes all... it welcomed me as well... i kept walking... my mind thinking... the wind causing a few goose bumps... i thought about sylvester and his grief... the kind which would stay with him for ever... the kind that makes you feel physically hurt.... the kind that just wrenches your gut... i thought about having felt that kind of grief... it seems so long back ago now... all those moments seem so long back ago now.... then it felt as if i would never be able to recover from it... i have.. have come out of it... may be altered... but definitely not scarred... now i can look back at it without skipping a heart beat... now i can think of it as a third person... then i was not able to... now i can be rationale and see why it happened and see how it really had to happen... and why it really is for the good that it happened... i have the benefit of hindsight now... if i could see all that i can see now back then i wouldn't have felt that much pain... then i could have given anything to lessen my pain... now i am just glad nothing did lessen that pain... i dont know why i am glad but i am... may be if i hadnt felt it that one sentence "i will walk home" wouldnt have stirred me.... may be if i hadn't felt it i wouldnt have taken this walk... and i definitely wouldnt have smiled now looking back at it.... that was a hard part of my life... but its over now... and i am glad its over... but also glad it happened.... i wonder where would i be if it hadn't... but i know whereever that was it wouldnt have been a place i liked... life would have been a mess.... or may be not... its just conjecture.... a thought just stuck my mind.. i have been blabbering for so long... so long.. i have been writing ... when i write i feel i am talking to someone... but the beauty is when i started talking (read writing) i was in my room then i went for a walk... and then without even realising at one point i moved from the road near my house to a coffee shop with one of my friends with me... both of us quiet and me talking... as in when you talk... there is one story which continues but it isnt told in one stretch.. .its told in breaks... breaks between silences... both of you are silent... and then you say something and both of you are silent again... not even to fill the silences or the gaps in the silences... but even in the comfortable silences... i dont know how often you have these conversations.... the silent ones but with a few words interpersed.... well anyway so now i am in this coffee shop... both of us are silent... and i am telling her my story.... telling it to her not because she doesn't know it... she knows it... she was with me when i was going through it ... she helped me go through it... but she wasnt physically present when this happened... i just had to tell her in person... not what happened.... that's immaterial and insignificant... but whatever is coming to my mind... the things that i wrote above... we are talking... she is just listening... she sometimes pitches in a nod or a hmm.... or an anecdote of her own... but she is listening.... we are sipping coffee we are talking... it's an ideal evening... no world exists outside the 2 of us... for that moment its just a friend i need... for that moment nothing else matters.... and i say.. you know it doesnt even matter... she smiles... how we loved this song... remember on the last day we painted it on the canteen wall... oh do you remember writing our names thr... how hard it was to leave college... do you remember the way we would sit on the hostel stairs or roof and keep on talking... about everything inconsequential which was somehow always a life altering event... oh and do you remember the 1st time we took the stereo to the roof and the whole hassle of finding where to plug it.... just because listening to "agar hum kahein aur woh muskuraa dein" was meant to be done only on the roof top... the song cannot be confined in the room walls!!! God! what was that!!! hahahahahaha... kitne funny the hum... and oh do you remember the birthdays and the 12o clock cakes... and oh the tarbooz party which we would call the Booze party!!! and what about the time we asked someone to give a lift to our tarbooz!! that has to be the most hilarious single event in the entire 4 years.... or may be the time we sent that bouquet and everyone called on the fake number... his face when he realised what had hit him!!! of dont you remember the rang rang mere rang rang mein.... and baaaabbboooooji zara dheere chalo.... yeah ... remember all that... but what i remember the most is we promised... promised to stay together... you do the laundry i do the cooking and he does the bartan and we rotate... and we are all in one city.... yeah remember that most of all... and one day we will do that.... we definitely will.... thats a promise... but for now i have to get back home... and you have to too.... a real hug... real one... an unseen tear... and its bye... till next time....
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