Don't judge a book by its cover

I normally don't judge a book by its cover.... and i am talking about taking the statement literally in this case.... I have heard the statement enough times to know it is not something "not-vain" people do... i do judge it by its blurb or reputation... i mean come on how else would you know which ones to buy and later spend your precious time on.... and if something can't impress you with the 100 word blurb what are the possibilities of it impressing you with the million words??

An evening well spent....

You have to first understand the setting.... it was a hot day today... the sun was harsh.... but because of the rain yesterday the evening was pleasant... it wasnt windy at all... but it was pleasant... no mosquitoes either.... for evenings spent outdoors mosquitoes are a big consideration in this part of the world.... they alone can ruin your evening.... but i guess thats the silver lining for the heat.... after a pathetic movie post noon we needed coffee.... after spending an hour or two having coffee it was time for an early dinner.... didn't feel like being inside.... so we decided on this restaurant which we know does not serve great food but has a very nice open area.... you can take the stairs and reach your own private area... literally on the top of the world considering everything around is a smaller rise... you can see very far into the city from there... they dont play loud music either... the light was dim too.... so we could see far in to the city..... but because of the clouds there were very few stars.... very very few..... and like i said it wasnt windy... but it wasnt still either.... a very very slight breeze probably.... actually i am guessing at that height where there is no obstruction there would usually be a slight breze... all in all it was pleasant... we were a group of people.... i am guessing all of us having our own troubles.... who doesn't have any... we were chatting... no heart to hearts or anything... chit chat... leg pulling... probably like a million other conversations going on at the same time.... small talk.... i was there... they werent playing songs... only music.... i could hear it in the background... if you wanted you could focus on it if you didnt you could completely forget it... like so many things in the background that have a big hand in making the scene but are easily forgotten... the music played a role .... i was feeling... I can't say feeling happy or sad... or restless or at peace... i can't give the feeling a name... it didn't have any... i just felt... i felt from deep within... it got me in a mode where you appreciate things... not the "I am so happy that even the flowers on the sidewalk are so pretty" feeling... but just feeling... where everything goes a bit deeper than every day... when you listen to a song and think... dude this guy can sing and the song touches you...... it never meant what it means today.,... where you see a person slightly sad and feel what he is feeling... not just because it's a phrase and this is what you usually say... but because you feel it... and not because you have gone through the same thing... you just feel it....... where you see a kid on the sidewalk laughing and you are happy.... where you think... Jagjit Singh is dead I can't ever attend his concert again... ever... for eternity... and you feel something... it's not sadness.... sadness is different... its not restlessness.... it isnt helplesness... its a feeling.... I felt.... i didnt feel "something" i just felt.... probably felt what is to be human........ not in the "being human" way.... but felt alive...... you know how you go through the rut.... wake up go through the daily schedule and then sleep only to wake up next day and go through the entire cycle again.... it was the feeling that takes you through the next month or 2 of the rut... it's the feeling that stops you from asking yourself... what else? what next?.... i didnt get answers..... far from it... but the feeling i got was for the needlessness  of needing the answers..... the questions will remain... always... they will come back to haunt me.... but for today I dont have to think about those questions.... i dont have to ignore them... the questions are there... but i felt... i felt.... cant say i am glad i felt... can't say i am happy i felt... I just felt that i felt... and for now that's enough..... tomorrow of course is another day.......

That time of the day....

You know that time of the day when the sun has set but it's not dark yet... the time when if you are driving you would really need to think about whether to switch on the headlights.... when half the buildings have lights switched on making the other half appear in darkness..... the time they call twilight... actually the latter part of twilight when its almost dusk... I don't know the difference too much... but I think you know what time of the day i am talking about.... it's that time of the day... actually it was that time of the day.... (You take this much time to write and it changes to night already!).... the temperature in the office was too cold for comfort... i stepped out... wanted to get away for sometime... looking for an 'open air' place to be... where i could sit.... with or without company.... turns out it has to be without company.... i guess its better that way.... so i sit by this pool... actually not really by the pool... but a floor above the pool but with the pool visible on the side... and a lot of buildings all around.... if it was a natural setting i would have been in a valley... with mountains all around... in it's own concrete way the setting was equally beautiful.... It was a hot day today... so hot that the sun seemed to burn the skin... probably the reason for the too cold for comfort AC.... the evening was "breezy"... but the breeze was warm....

Sitting there by the pool... looking at the buildings... the blue sky turning black.... enjoying a glass of juice.... I looked at random pople... I heard random conversations.... I thought of random things... I thought of evenings past...actually of the same time of different days... I was thinking of the evenings in my balcony when i would try to click that perfect picture of the skyline.... wanted to create an "Evenings from my balcony" album... i have quite a few pictures.... the album never happened..... where's the time....I was thinking of days when I sat in my garden back home... having mango shake... talking to mom, dad, everybody.... I remember this one day i was in the other end of our home... dad called for me from the garden... to show me what a beautiful flower had bloomed in our garden... it wasnt an exotic flower... it was your normal everyday flower... but he called me to see it... he was happy to see it... i was happy to see it.... or may be i was happy because dad was so happy... don't know.... now that i think about it I dont know if it was his way of saying come lets talk.... he just knows the art of conversation.... the evenings.... days when i would sit in my garden by myself readin a book... almost praying to God that Mom doesn't start with "stop reading you are hurting your eyes"... actually i was reading the newspaper today and missed being afraid of Mom stopping me from reading.... isn't the experience more special just because you know it will end any time now.... but i digress... not that there was a point anyway to digress from... but still I digress.... 

This is ironic.....

From my workplace everything is blocked... by everything I mean everything... mobile phones which do anything more than make/recieve calls (which mine does) .... mails to non "@placeofwork.com" ids.... both outgoing and incoming... more obviously all kinds of data storage devices... any kind of website that could even remotely help you put data on the web.... so much so that getting printer access means having to get approvals from all kinds of business heads and the country head and what not..... and no i am not in a military facility..... but blogger is not.....

and more ironic is the fact that because everything is blocked I never bothered to check blogger.. I mean come on!!! but yeah right here is this tiny window to the outside world (thank you world for remaining the same while I am at work)... the world i lose all touch with once I am inside.... not that its all bad... not having to answer calls while at work... which is the entire day has its advantages... no one disturbs you while you are busy,.. and you get to spend a lot more time with yourself while you are free.... I am not one of those people who were born with a mobile in one hand and a PSP in the other.... but you know how all of us are addicted to our phones... how finicky one gets when the phone is stolen/lost or forgotten somewhere.... how you keep getting the feeling you might be missing something... what if someone is trying to reach you.... you can't be at eaze... when i joined this "facility" i would go out every hour or so just to check if there are any "missed calls"... strangely enough there werent any most of the time.... the world kept moving on with or without me.... with time i stopped checking every hour(believe me it bruises your ego a little bit to realise no one calls you! )... now i only check when i go out for my coffee break... which is once a day... and do you know what is the best part... half the times i dont even return calls that I have and put them off to the weekend.... I hadn't realised what a blessing it is to not have to answer a phone when it rings.... imagine you get a call... you dont really want to speak to that person at that very moment but the reflex action when the phone rings is "hello!! how are you?" and after that there is no getting away.... its not that i dont like these people... but come on... all of us know there are moods when you dont want to speak to some people... and no matter how you put it... "i dont want to talk to you right now" can never be sugar coated enough... but now... Now i dont have to worry about all that... now i can not answer a phone... because literally i can not... and not feel guilty about it... and just lament over the weekend about how hard a life without cell phones is.... while smiling inwards most of the time.... and no i dont hate people/ talking to people...... in fact I love talking ( or is it speaking... considering i love blogging!!)... and people who know me would be surprised that i am happy to miss chances to speak (speaking is a hobby with me ;) )... but i am happy..... happy to not being disturbed during work hours... happy to be sad about missing some calls that i really wanted to attend... happy to not being sad when people dont call.... happy to not being in touch with the world for more than 8 hours a day... all week days!!!