Arre ruk jaa re bandeh!

Arre tham jaa re bandeh... ke kudrat hass padegi hoooo....
I like this song... like most people i know who have heard this song!
Its an amazing song.,.. but what caught my attention today when i was listening to it was "ke kudrat hass padegi".. i actually laughed listening to it...
as in to me it sounded like "do u even know how insignificant you are? and you think you are soo important!!!" hahahahaha
it just felt nice... the way of putting it... arre tham jaa... kudrat hass padegi...

like dont do this nonsense... log kya kahenge... just taking it a step further... kudrat hass padegi!!!
how can people think of such lyrics!! and there is me have heard this song more than ten thousand times and hadn't realised what a beauty this statement was .. is(no this isnt an attempt at false modesty)
begin of tangent:
actually i heard the phrase false modesty yesterday for the first time... i was aware of the concept... by observation... and then yesterday a freind told me there's a phrase for it.... i was amazed... happy... and now i am happy for having used the phrase :-)
End of tangent.

Decisions!

i dont like making decisions... not small decisions like where should i buy a pair of jeans from... but big decisions like.. may be what car should i buy (no i am not planning to buy a new car as of now :P )but thats the scale of decisions i am talking about... big decisions... a decision with heavy stakes... unlike today's IPL match... (King's XI already in semis and knight riders definitely cant be)... so there are no stakes on the match... from where i see...
if there are high stakes on any decisoin i want it to be done and over with...
actually its not making the decisions that i mind as much... i will think it over (or may be not) and make the decision... also stand by it... but what i dislike doing is waiting for the results of that decision... as in like lets say i decide to buy a santro for that car... now i just want to go and buy it ... i dont want to wait... now that i have done my part in the decision making process i want the results... like may be the waiting for the results after writing the exams... its not writing the exam that's difficult... but the waiting for the result (actually also the prep part... but that came with its own part of fun so was manageable!)... it was the waiting of the results that killed... specially waiting of the result for my psycho exam... i barely managed to pass... barely... the only course i got a D in :-) i remember going all the way to my college (a one and a half hour drive) just because sm1 said we might know the result for that particular course that day... and then i saw my answer sheet... as expected i hadnt done very well... but the prof still hadnt decided the grades... oh the wait for grades was hell.....
till today wait for the consequences of my decision (although writing that psycho exam wasnt really a decision had i had an option i would have never written the exam!) is hell.... once i make the decision i get kind of restless...
although the gut wrenching wait is also fun.... and i am sure when i look back i will say that was a fun time... but "look back" time is still far away... so for now if i had that click remote i would fast forward my life a bit...

or may be not....

AMEN!

meetings meetings and more meetings!

i had started writing about meetings and how i have had infinite hours of meetings in the past 2 days and how i dont like it and general crib... but then the song played "waqt rehta nahin kahin tik kar... iski fitrat bhi aadmi si hai" (roughly translates to time doesn't stay.... like humans) interesting.... everytime i hear this line it takes me somewhere... to some point in my life... not the same point always... but some point... specifically some people.... people who haven't stayed... people who have strayed... and i wonder why have they been left behind!! and then i think about people who have stayed...
and now i am thinking about the day i had... and wondering why was i so worked up when i reached back from office.. its not like i haven't had hectic days at work... and today wasn't the most hectic i have had... and it wasnt even as if nothing was going my way... actually if i have to put a finger at what went wrong today... nothing did... the meetings were fruitful... as in they weren't an entire waste of time... the time i wasnt in a meeting was very effectively used... but somehow something was wrong today... add to it all the weather was very good today the entire day... and it wasnt oh the weather is so good what am i doing in office feeling... so that wasnt bad... but something was missing fromthe day... when i came back i was thankful teh day was over... know what i mean... and i have noticed after a day like this i end up fearing the next day... although there is nothing to fear... but i just dont want office tomorrow... sometimes i just want to quit... quit everything... quit work.. quit people.... quit life... for a good 2 months... go to a land of no one knows mei know no one,.... be there... no cell phone no tv no comp no newspaper... stay thr... for a month or so... or may be if i am comfortable.. stay forever... maybe start the life over... no hand\gups from the apst... none... no memories... none good none bad... a life without the in the good old days... or last time i did this or friends from my past... you know like a complete memory refresh... kind of learn everything again,... right from doubting people to knowing that the hero in the movie cannot really do all that stuff himself... be amazed... i wonder when was the last time i was truly amazed... amazed as in eyes left wide open amazed... dont know when was the last time i was afraid... oh no i remember that... that was before the "jump off from the cliff into the river"
i remember asking myself... and why do i have to do it... what will i gain... i am somehow reminded of "the death of my first love changed the meaning of love for me forever"
thank God for atleast one strong feeling in a long time..... otherwise have been pretty dead for a long time...

To Se naina laage

Tose nainaan laage mili roshni... To se mann jo laaga mili zindagi...
am listening to this song... and am feeling something... actually .. am feeling... just feeling.... mohabbat ki hai daastaan zindagi!!! moha-bat na ho to kahan zindagi....
felt like writing... seems like couldn't control the "feeling" and it had to pour out... and here it is :-)
Shama ko pighalne ka armaan kiun hai...patange ko jalne kaa armaan kiun hai... issi shauk kaa imtehaan zindagi hai....
cool!! this song ended and another song started... tanha Dil.. another song i love a lot!!! waao!! it must be my lucky day today :-)
nice i like it... and you know what the best part is... the day hasnt even really started... its less than 2 hours since the day started .. technically!!! waao!! which means i can now look forward to a complete perfect 22 hours!!!
thank you God :-)

a trip to Hrishikesh!!

Note: I went to Hrishikesh for white water rafting a few weeks ago.. and wrote this (on a piece of paper) there... on 5th April.. I dont know why am i putting it here!


Finally I am in Hrishikesh!!! Finally i came rafting!!!Although sadly its without Deepti (have been planning going rafting with her for over 3 years now!!)I hadn't eralised she meant soo much to me till we parted ways....
Rafting i wouldn't talk about... it took me to heaven but that aint important... you can read about it rafting adventures of 1000 other people and it will be the same for me... a bit here or there... but "Swalpa adjhust maadi saar"
After coming back from rafting to our "base camp"we had lunch and then went "hiking"... which actually meant walking on the river bank and that i waht i want to write about....why?? :-) obviously because i walked alone for sometime and it made me think... obviously.....

we walked on teh stony bank... because of the season the river isnt in full flow... which means these rocks on the banks are the ones which get eroded a major part of the year... which means they are really smooth... most of them very different from one another.... but all were very beautiful; some were not sooo rounded hence difficult to walk on...some were very slipper and hence the same problem....but yet they were all very beautiful...after walking a bit the rocks were even more beautiful... but somehow their beauty didn't leave an impact... may be because there were so many of them... may be because after seeing them for soo long the beauty didnt matter since it pleases only the heart but causes inconvenience hence.... i couldn't help noticing their increasing beauty and its decreasing impact... and then i thought of people... all of them beautiful.... but.....