There was this day in office when there was no coffee.... no coffee in the vending machine... there is no coffee shop near office where you can just go pick your coffee and come back... you have to go there.... pass pleasant nothings .... order coffee... have it and come back.. Europe style... you are not supposed to be in a hurry.... you are supposed to do everything slowly.... enjoy it while you do it... which you can't do on a break from work..... Because there are only 24 hours in a day and there is loads of work to be done!!
End of story there is no other option for having coffee than the vending machine(i used to hate vending machine coffee before i came here... never had it.... but see what no options does to a person) and the vending machine is broken! Imagine my plight... i walk up to the vending machine... I press the button on the menu and it says something in French (on the microscule display) which I understood must mean "cannot dispense" this after pressing the button some 10 times.... then I selected another drink... again the same French phrase which i am assuming to mean u know what... well after selecting a few more drinks in a priorit-ical order and getting the same response I realized there was something majorly wrong with the machine and it wasn't just those one or 2 drinks....
I came back to my seat all sleepy eyed but with loads of work waiting for me.... and that too with the knowledge that there might be no coffee throughout the day... there was a small ray of hope... that hope against hope... that may be.... but deep inside I knew... there would be no coffee today... and I had to live with it... go to the VM a few more time... only to return empty handed... but go nonetheless... may be the VM Gods are happy and bless me with a few coffees... after all you never know when you get sweet rewards! but no it wasn't that sweet a day that day I spent the entire day without coffee... and the day after that....
Now that i have set the perspective the mind frame that i was in i will continue with what i really wanted to say... i was working and thinking what is the value add my work gives me (of course it gives me financial value add).... why am i working.... on the same technology for last so many years... why cant i quit and do sweet nothings all day... something like wake up in the morning.... make a nice cup of coffee.. sip it while reading the newspaper... worry about world in general... talk about how everything is going wrong while looking at my garden and watering my plants... removing dead leaves from one sprinkling water on petals of another... look at light being reflected from the droplets... make breakfast... take a nice long warm water bath... eat breakfast which is still magically warm.... now go out do some necessary grocery shopping or the other boring things... come back... teach some poor kids to read... who obviously come daily and love coming to my place.... then its time for lunch... make lunch.. have lunch... now bake a few things... smell the cakes.... the smell of hot cakes… the taste… and ofcourse there will be cookies…and coffee and tea and what not……
Anyway… so much for a fantasy now to real work and ABAP!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
you gotta work hard
They say things in life don’t come easy… they say nothing comes easy…. They say you got to work at everything…. Everything from real work to fun… from life to relationships… you got to work hard…. Sometimes I wonder why can’t I stay the way I am…. in my comfort zone… not come out… stay here…. What makes me come out of my comfort zone… fear of what future might being… fear of what I may have to face then and prepare myself now… why prepare myself now… why work hard now… why not wait for the future to become the present and work hard then… may be it wouldn’t be that bad… I am just taking other people’s word or my extrapolation that it will be hard… or that things will change…. Who knows they will or they won’t…. if they do may be I will have to work extra hard…. But I will be doing it for a surety not for a surmise or for a may be or for other people’s experiences…. It will be for me… for my present for my now… who cares about what future brings…. For all I know I might not be here for the future I am preparing for…. Because frankly, you cannot trust anybody or anything… not even yourself…. Because right when you think you have it all figured out a small change in someone’s life changes everything in yours…. That is if you still have a life… I don’t know what I want from life…. And sometimes I don’t want nothing from life no more… and then I question life…. And then I look at people who have had real hard lives and think why can’t I be thankful… but then I am unable to …. And then I wonder…. I wonder do I deserve all the nice things in life… do I deserve life if I am not even thankful for it…. I wonder and I ask myself….. I question myself…. And I keep on living…. The way I have lived…. And do u know what the sad part is I don’t know if I live this way because I want to or because I am expected to… and this is what really pisses me off…. Not believing that I am really living life on my own terms…. And I want to run away to a life I don’t know to people I don’t know… so that finally I find somewhere I belong…. The nowhere……. Because right now I don’t think I belong where I am…. Because right now I don’t want to belong where I am…. Right now I want to have the courage to break free… to speak my mind to follow my heart to be a free bird…. To be away from everything…..
I don’t want to work on a regular job… may be just have enough to survive…. Quit everything…. Work as a waitress in a small unknown town may be…. Only after I have blown up all the money I have…. Only after I have absolute necessity to work… then work again as something…. Someone… a librarian a helper in a shop…. Work hard for sometime save and then blow it all up on a pendant that I like just at that moment and even when looking at it I know that I wouldn’t like it the next day.. but nto even think about it and blow up all my salary(if I can call it that) on it… that’s what I want right now…. To be not sensible… to be not mature… to be arbit… to be someone beyond logic… to be someone who really follows their heart… because what’s there in the world if there is not heart…. And what’s the fun of living if it is not for your heart…. I know I can convince my heart…. But do I really want a convinced heart????????? Till then can I really say “apna jeena to hai jeena…. Tashan mein tashan mein tashan mein tashan mein…”
Even when I am writing it I know it sounds more romantic on paper than it really is… but this is exactly what I don’t want… to be sensible…. to know things…. To feel the right and wrong…. Talk about a paradox!
I don’t want to work on a regular job… may be just have enough to survive…. Quit everything…. Work as a waitress in a small unknown town may be…. Only after I have blown up all the money I have…. Only after I have absolute necessity to work… then work again as something…. Someone… a librarian a helper in a shop…. Work hard for sometime save and then blow it all up on a pendant that I like just at that moment and even when looking at it I know that I wouldn’t like it the next day.. but nto even think about it and blow up all my salary(if I can call it that) on it… that’s what I want right now…. To be not sensible… to be not mature… to be arbit… to be someone beyond logic… to be someone who really follows their heart… because what’s there in the world if there is not heart…. And what’s the fun of living if it is not for your heart…. I know I can convince my heart…. But do I really want a convinced heart????????? Till then can I really say “apna jeena to hai jeena…. Tashan mein tashan mein tashan mein tashan mein…”
Even when I am writing it I know it sounds more romantic on paper than it really is… but this is exactly what I don’t want… to be sensible…. to know things…. To feel the right and wrong…. Talk about a paradox!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
geneva convention
My grandma does not know how to read (or write) English. When I was a kid I always used to wonder how she felt not able to read anything, everywhere you go in India things are written in English, be it the label on a jam bottle or the cooking instructions on a Maggi pack (I wonder how she knew how to make Maggi ) or be it the currency value on a note (she can differentiate between the currency notes though!)
I used to wonder how she felt; now I don’t anymore, thanks to Geneva (read it as Genève try the best French accent you can). Everything here is in French, the people the labels the currency the public announcements everything, sometimes I feel even the wind is so French it does not talk to me. I feel so strange, I can’t even pick up on random discussions happening on around me anymore. Do you know what is the worst part, the worst part is the keyboard! It types in English all right, but it is a French keyboard, which means what was supposed to be a ‘Z’ is a ‘Y’ and which means my mails now read ‘Hi, how are zou?’ and it also means I have to spend a good 30 seconds searching for a single quote on the keyboard!
All said and done, things aren’t so bleak here. There are farms filled with sunflowers next to office, infact these days its flowers everywhere, on the roads, on the roundabouts (reminds me of Chandigarh) on the window sills, everywhere! And what’s more, these guys know their perfumes (even outside FIRMENICH), their chocolates and their desserts. And what’s more I know the French for chocolate too (‘Chocolat‘; in case u were wondering! ). Here’s to French, the French and the Lindt Orange dark bar lying on my table, room temperature the way I like it!
I used to wonder how she felt; now I don’t anymore, thanks to Geneva (read it as Genève try the best French accent you can). Everything here is in French, the people the labels the currency the public announcements everything, sometimes I feel even the wind is so French it does not talk to me. I feel so strange, I can’t even pick up on random discussions happening on around me anymore. Do you know what is the worst part, the worst part is the keyboard! It types in English all right, but it is a French keyboard, which means what was supposed to be a ‘Z’ is a ‘Y’ and which means my mails now read ‘Hi, how are zou?’ and it also means I have to spend a good 30 seconds searching for a single quote on the keyboard!
All said and done, things aren’t so bleak here. There are farms filled with sunflowers next to office, infact these days its flowers everywhere, on the roads, on the roundabouts (reminds me of Chandigarh) on the window sills, everywhere! And what’s more, these guys know their perfumes (even outside FIRMENICH), their chocolates and their desserts. And what’s more I know the French for chocolate too (‘Chocolat‘; in case u were wondering! ). Here’s to French, the French and the Lindt Orange dark bar lying on my table, room temperature the way I like it!
Thursday, June 26, 2008
30-45
i normally take 30 minutes to drive to work... dont drive too fast dont drive too slow.... today it took me 45 minutes... no the traffic wasnt that heavy... it was normal traffic... but i think i was driving a bit too slow.... i wonder why?? (i wonder how yesterday u told me about the blue blue sky.... )...
anyway i was driving and thinking... actually i was driving more by instinct than really paying attention i think... and i dont know when i crossed what part of the road... and now that i think about it i wonder why do people say dont go too fast you will miss the beauty that is the journey... i was going too slow today but i still missed the journey... although i cant deny that the drive was a good 45 minutes spent with myself! for that matter i dont even know what i was thinking about... various scenes from my life were coming to my mind in no particular order... at one moment i was thinking of school and another moment of a particular holiday...and then about a song i liked... and then about a really embarrassing incident i had.... there was no thread binding all these memories.. other than these being my memories... they appeared in no particular order.... and when i reached work it was as if i had just lived all those moments... i was feeling so strange.... i was feeling so unlike myself... i wonder what would it feel like to watch a movie on my life...not very different from the experience i had....
anyway i was driving and thinking... actually i was driving more by instinct than really paying attention i think... and i dont know when i crossed what part of the road... and now that i think about it i wonder why do people say dont go too fast you will miss the beauty that is the journey... i was going too slow today but i still missed the journey... although i cant deny that the drive was a good 45 minutes spent with myself! for that matter i dont even know what i was thinking about... various scenes from my life were coming to my mind in no particular order... at one moment i was thinking of school and another moment of a particular holiday...and then about a song i liked... and then about a really embarrassing incident i had.... there was no thread binding all these memories.. other than these being my memories... they appeared in no particular order.... and when i reached work it was as if i had just lived all those moments... i was feeling so strange.... i was feeling so unlike myself... i wonder what would it feel like to watch a movie on my life...not very different from the experience i had....
Monday, June 23, 2008
sometimes....
Sometimes I don’t want to be practical no more….
Sometimes I don’t want to be logical no more…
Sometimes I don’t want to be real no more…
Sometimes I want to let go…
Let go of everything…
Everything I know…
Everything I know is right….
Everything I know is wrong…
Everything I know hurts me…..
Everything I know makes me happy….
Everyone I know……
Let go of it all… start afresh… start anew… Like a new day a new dawn… Without any prejudices without any hangovers without any hang ups…
Like a kid starts… from the beginning… when he does not know he has to be afraid of heights… when he does not know he has to be afraid of falling…. When he does not know not everyone can be trusted… When he does not know every time you trust you open a window (however small) to let the trust hurt you… to let the trust break you….
Or may be what I really want is to live in a fiction… where deep in your heart you know in the end they will “live happily ever after” in the end everything will be fine…. I know they say “in the end everything is fine, if it isn’t it is not the end” but I think this is just a cheesy line…. A line to get you through your worst days… however it doesn’t seem to work for me!!
For that matter I don’t even know what works for me…. Let me give it a thought… now that I do… I think I don’t know myself at all… at least I don’t know myself enough to put me in words… I don’t know myself enough to say what I like or what I dislike… may be if I gave it a thought I would… not may be definitely if I gave it a thought I would… seems like I haven’t given myself a lot of thought of late… seems like I have been doing a lot of running away of late…. Seems like I need to get rooted again…. Seems like I need to introspect again…. Seems like I need a change…. Seems like I need to get in touch… seems like this is a Monday… and seems like these are the blues talking…. But is it just the day or is it me?????
P.S: Sometimes even a new dress cannot get you through a bad day!
Sometimes I don’t want to be logical no more…
Sometimes I don’t want to be real no more…
Sometimes I want to let go…
Let go of everything…
Everything I know…
Everything I know is right….
Everything I know is wrong…
Everything I know hurts me…..
Everything I know makes me happy….
Everyone I know……
Let go of it all… start afresh… start anew… Like a new day a new dawn… Without any prejudices without any hangovers without any hang ups…
Like a kid starts… from the beginning… when he does not know he has to be afraid of heights… when he does not know he has to be afraid of falling…. When he does not know not everyone can be trusted… When he does not know every time you trust you open a window (however small) to let the trust hurt you… to let the trust break you….
Or may be what I really want is to live in a fiction… where deep in your heart you know in the end they will “live happily ever after” in the end everything will be fine…. I know they say “in the end everything is fine, if it isn’t it is not the end” but I think this is just a cheesy line…. A line to get you through your worst days… however it doesn’t seem to work for me!!
For that matter I don’t even know what works for me…. Let me give it a thought… now that I do… I think I don’t know myself at all… at least I don’t know myself enough to put me in words… I don’t know myself enough to say what I like or what I dislike… may be if I gave it a thought I would… not may be definitely if I gave it a thought I would… seems like I haven’t given myself a lot of thought of late… seems like I have been doing a lot of running away of late…. Seems like I need to get rooted again…. Seems like I need to introspect again…. Seems like I need a change…. Seems like I need to get in touch… seems like this is a Monday… and seems like these are the blues talking…. But is it just the day or is it me?????
P.S: Sometimes even a new dress cannot get you through a bad day!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
when everything's going right....
When every thing's going right... when u think life's beautiful and you have a near perfect day... something stops it from being perfect... something spoils it... something wipes that smile off your face... you tell yourself... yeah that's life... you ask yourself but why... and then u answer yourself... because this is the real world ... because this is life... because for every thing good there is bad...:-)
and then you tell yourself but that also means for everything bad there is good and this is life... and it is beautiful... and then you realize may be you are giving more importance to things than they deserve... may be may be not... but then again... its a few hours before monday morning... seems like the blues have already set in... may be its gonna be a bad bad monday after all.... and i had read somewhere "what do you expect from a day that starts with a monday morning" as one of my friends said "u expect it to be pathetic and be sure it will live upto your expectations!"
Cheers to life!
and then you tell yourself but that also means for everything bad there is good and this is life... and it is beautiful... and then you realize may be you are giving more importance to things than they deserve... may be may be not... but then again... its a few hours before monday morning... seems like the blues have already set in... may be its gonna be a bad bad monday after all.... and i had read somewhere "what do you expect from a day that starts with a monday morning" as one of my friends said "u expect it to be pathetic and be sure it will live upto your expectations!"
Cheers to life!
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
and finally i bought it!!! :-)
i am feeling really happy today... now... really really happy... the kind of happiness you can get only after money well spent... the kind of high only shopping can give you....there's this book i have had my eye on for close to 2.5 years now... i hadn't bought it till now because.... well i don't really know..... but i hadn't... it is kind of a collectors item... may be that's why i took time... dunno... had had my eye on it since one of my friend's had lent it to me... and i had read a few pages.... the moment i reached home i started reading it... infact before that when i took it to the counter to buy it... the shopkeeper had a smile on his face.. and he says... now that's a good book!! (that's a book shop i particularly like going to because the owners are avid readers themselves and give a very nice vibe!) and then he opens the book ... reads a few lines from it... we both feel good about it... talk to each other utter nonsense that makes one feel good... and i pay him and come back... now thats what i call the complete shopping experience!!! and a fulfilling one too!!!!
now i just want to get back to the book...
a couplet from the book:
sunte hain bahisht ki taareef; sab darust;
khuda kare woh tera jalwaa gaah ho.....*
*Bahisht: Heaven;
jalwaa gaah: home
now i just want to get back to the book...
a couplet from the book:
sunte hain bahisht ki taareef; sab darust;
khuda kare woh tera jalwaa gaah ho.....*
*Bahisht: Heaven;
jalwaa gaah: home
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Arre ruk jaa re bandeh!
Arre tham jaa re bandeh... ke kudrat hass padegi hoooo....
I like this song... like most people i know who have heard this song!
Its an amazing song.,.. but what caught my attention today when i was listening to it was "ke kudrat hass padegi".. i actually laughed listening to it...
as in to me it sounded like "do u even know how insignificant you are? and you think you are soo important!!!" hahahahaha
it just felt nice... the way of putting it... arre tham jaa... kudrat hass padegi...
like dont do this nonsense... log kya kahenge... just taking it a step further... kudrat hass padegi!!!
how can people think of such lyrics!! and there is me have heard this song more than ten thousand times and hadn't realised what a beauty this statement was .. is(no this isnt an attempt at false modesty)
begin of tangent:
actually i heard the phrase false modesty yesterday for the first time... i was aware of the concept... by observation... and then yesterday a freind told me there's a phrase for it.... i was amazed... happy... and now i am happy for having used the phrase :-)
End of tangent.
I like this song... like most people i know who have heard this song!
Its an amazing song.,.. but what caught my attention today when i was listening to it was "ke kudrat hass padegi".. i actually laughed listening to it...
as in to me it sounded like "do u even know how insignificant you are? and you think you are soo important!!!" hahahahaha
it just felt nice... the way of putting it... arre tham jaa... kudrat hass padegi...
like dont do this nonsense... log kya kahenge... just taking it a step further... kudrat hass padegi!!!
how can people think of such lyrics!! and there is me have heard this song more than ten thousand times and hadn't realised what a beauty this statement was .. is(no this isnt an attempt at false modesty)
begin of tangent:
actually i heard the phrase false modesty yesterday for the first time... i was aware of the concept... by observation... and then yesterday a freind told me there's a phrase for it.... i was amazed... happy... and now i am happy for having used the phrase :-)
End of tangent.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Decisions!
i dont like making decisions... not small decisions like where should i buy a pair of jeans from... but big decisions like.. may be what car should i buy (no i am not planning to buy a new car as of now :P )but thats the scale of decisions i am talking about... big decisions... a decision with heavy stakes... unlike today's IPL match... (King's XI already in semis and knight riders definitely cant be)... so there are no stakes on the match... from where i see...
if there are high stakes on any decisoin i want it to be done and over with...
actually its not making the decisions that i mind as much... i will think it over (or may be not) and make the decision... also stand by it... but what i dislike doing is waiting for the results of that decision... as in like lets say i decide to buy a santro for that car... now i just want to go and buy it ... i dont want to wait... now that i have done my part in the decision making process i want the results... like may be the waiting for the results after writing the exams... its not writing the exam that's difficult... but the waiting for the result (actually also the prep part... but that came with its own part of fun so was manageable!)... it was the waiting of the results that killed... specially waiting of the result for my psycho exam... i barely managed to pass... barely... the only course i got a D in :-) i remember going all the way to my college (a one and a half hour drive) just because sm1 said we might know the result for that particular course that day... and then i saw my answer sheet... as expected i hadnt done very well... but the prof still hadnt decided the grades... oh the wait for grades was hell.....
till today wait for the consequences of my decision (although writing that psycho exam wasnt really a decision had i had an option i would have never written the exam!) is hell.... once i make the decision i get kind of restless...
although the gut wrenching wait is also fun.... and i am sure when i look back i will say that was a fun time... but "look back" time is still far away... so for now if i had that click remote i would fast forward my life a bit...
or may be not....
AMEN!
if there are high stakes on any decisoin i want it to be done and over with...
actually its not making the decisions that i mind as much... i will think it over (or may be not) and make the decision... also stand by it... but what i dislike doing is waiting for the results of that decision... as in like lets say i decide to buy a santro for that car... now i just want to go and buy it ... i dont want to wait... now that i have done my part in the decision making process i want the results... like may be the waiting for the results after writing the exams... its not writing the exam that's difficult... but the waiting for the result (actually also the prep part... but that came with its own part of fun so was manageable!)... it was the waiting of the results that killed... specially waiting of the result for my psycho exam... i barely managed to pass... barely... the only course i got a D in :-) i remember going all the way to my college (a one and a half hour drive) just because sm1 said we might know the result for that particular course that day... and then i saw my answer sheet... as expected i hadnt done very well... but the prof still hadnt decided the grades... oh the wait for grades was hell.....
till today wait for the consequences of my decision (although writing that psycho exam wasnt really a decision had i had an option i would have never written the exam!) is hell.... once i make the decision i get kind of restless...
although the gut wrenching wait is also fun.... and i am sure when i look back i will say that was a fun time... but "look back" time is still far away... so for now if i had that click remote i would fast forward my life a bit...
or may be not....
AMEN!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
meetings meetings and more meetings!
i had started writing about meetings and how i have had infinite hours of meetings in the past 2 days and how i dont like it and general crib... but then the song played "waqt rehta nahin kahin tik kar... iski fitrat bhi aadmi si hai" (roughly translates to time doesn't stay.... like humans) interesting.... everytime i hear this line it takes me somewhere... to some point in my life... not the same point always... but some point... specifically some people.... people who haven't stayed... people who have strayed... and i wonder why have they been left behind!! and then i think about people who have stayed...
and now i am thinking about the day i had... and wondering why was i so worked up when i reached back from office.. its not like i haven't had hectic days at work... and today wasn't the most hectic i have had... and it wasnt even as if nothing was going my way... actually if i have to put a finger at what went wrong today... nothing did... the meetings were fruitful... as in they weren't an entire waste of time... the time i wasnt in a meeting was very effectively used... but somehow something was wrong today... add to it all the weather was very good today the entire day... and it wasnt oh the weather is so good what am i doing in office feeling... so that wasnt bad... but something was missing fromthe day... when i came back i was thankful teh day was over... know what i mean... and i have noticed after a day like this i end up fearing the next day... although there is nothing to fear... but i just dont want office tomorrow... sometimes i just want to quit... quit everything... quit work.. quit people.... quit life... for a good 2 months... go to a land of no one knows mei know no one,.... be there... no cell phone no tv no comp no newspaper... stay thr... for a month or so... or may be if i am comfortable.. stay forever... maybe start the life over... no hand\gups from the apst... none... no memories... none good none bad... a life without the in the good old days... or last time i did this or friends from my past... you know like a complete memory refresh... kind of learn everything again,... right from doubting people to knowing that the hero in the movie cannot really do all that stuff himself... be amazed... i wonder when was the last time i was truly amazed... amazed as in eyes left wide open amazed... dont know when was the last time i was afraid... oh no i remember that... that was before the "jump off from the cliff into the river"
i remember asking myself... and why do i have to do it... what will i gain... i am somehow reminded of "the death of my first love changed the meaning of love for me forever"
thank God for atleast one strong feeling in a long time..... otherwise have been pretty dead for a long time...
and now i am thinking about the day i had... and wondering why was i so worked up when i reached back from office.. its not like i haven't had hectic days at work... and today wasn't the most hectic i have had... and it wasnt even as if nothing was going my way... actually if i have to put a finger at what went wrong today... nothing did... the meetings were fruitful... as in they weren't an entire waste of time... the time i wasnt in a meeting was very effectively used... but somehow something was wrong today... add to it all the weather was very good today the entire day... and it wasnt oh the weather is so good what am i doing in office feeling... so that wasnt bad... but something was missing fromthe day... when i came back i was thankful teh day was over... know what i mean... and i have noticed after a day like this i end up fearing the next day... although there is nothing to fear... but i just dont want office tomorrow... sometimes i just want to quit... quit everything... quit work.. quit people.... quit life... for a good 2 months... go to a land of no one knows mei know no one,.... be there... no cell phone no tv no comp no newspaper... stay thr... for a month or so... or may be if i am comfortable.. stay forever... maybe start the life over... no hand\gups from the apst... none... no memories... none good none bad... a life without the in the good old days... or last time i did this or friends from my past... you know like a complete memory refresh... kind of learn everything again,... right from doubting people to knowing that the hero in the movie cannot really do all that stuff himself... be amazed... i wonder when was the last time i was truly amazed... amazed as in eyes left wide open amazed... dont know when was the last time i was afraid... oh no i remember that... that was before the "jump off from the cliff into the river"
i remember asking myself... and why do i have to do it... what will i gain... i am somehow reminded of "the death of my first love changed the meaning of love for me forever"
thank God for atleast one strong feeling in a long time..... otherwise have been pretty dead for a long time...
Saturday, May 10, 2008
To Se naina laage
Tose nainaan laage mili roshni... To se mann jo laaga mili zindagi...
am listening to this song... and am feeling something... actually .. am feeling... just feeling.... mohabbat ki hai daastaan zindagi!!! moha-bat na ho to kahan zindagi....
felt like writing... seems like couldn't control the "feeling" and it had to pour out... and here it is :-)
Shama ko pighalne ka armaan kiun hai...patange ko jalne kaa armaan kiun hai... issi shauk kaa imtehaan zindagi hai....
cool!! this song ended and another song started... tanha Dil.. another song i love a lot!!! waao!! it must be my lucky day today :-)
nice i like it... and you know what the best part is... the day hasnt even really started... its less than 2 hours since the day started .. technically!!! waao!! which means i can now look forward to a complete perfect 22 hours!!!
thank you God :-)
am listening to this song... and am feeling something... actually .. am feeling... just feeling.... mohabbat ki hai daastaan zindagi!!! moha-bat na ho to kahan zindagi....
felt like writing... seems like couldn't control the "feeling" and it had to pour out... and here it is :-)
Shama ko pighalne ka armaan kiun hai...patange ko jalne kaa armaan kiun hai... issi shauk kaa imtehaan zindagi hai....
cool!! this song ended and another song started... tanha Dil.. another song i love a lot!!! waao!! it must be my lucky day today :-)
nice i like it... and you know what the best part is... the day hasnt even really started... its less than 2 hours since the day started .. technically!!! waao!! which means i can now look forward to a complete perfect 22 hours!!!
thank you God :-)
Friday, May 2, 2008
a trip to Hrishikesh!!
Note: I went to Hrishikesh for white water rafting a few weeks ago.. and wrote this (on a piece of paper) there... on 5th April.. I dont know why am i putting it here!
Finally I am in Hrishikesh!!! Finally i came rafting!!!Although sadly its without Deepti (have been planning going rafting with her for over 3 years now!!)I hadn't eralised she meant soo much to me till we parted ways....
Rafting i wouldn't talk about... it took me to heaven but that aint important... you can read about it rafting adventures of 1000 other people and it will be the same for me... a bit here or there... but "Swalpa adjhust maadi saar"
After coming back from rafting to our "base camp"we had lunch and then went "hiking"... which actually meant walking on the river bank and that i waht i want to write about....why?? :-) obviously because i walked alone for sometime and it made me think... obviously.....
we walked on teh stony bank... because of the season the river isnt in full flow... which means these rocks on the banks are the ones which get eroded a major part of the year... which means they are really smooth... most of them very different from one another.... but all were very beautiful; some were not sooo rounded hence difficult to walk on...some were very slipper and hence the same problem....but yet they were all very beautiful...after walking a bit the rocks were even more beautiful... but somehow their beauty didn't leave an impact... may be because there were so many of them... may be because after seeing them for soo long the beauty didnt matter since it pleases only the heart but causes inconvenience hence.... i couldn't help noticing their increasing beauty and its decreasing impact... and then i thought of people... all of them beautiful.... but.....
Finally I am in Hrishikesh!!! Finally i came rafting!!!Although sadly its without Deepti (have been planning going rafting with her for over 3 years now!!)I hadn't eralised she meant soo much to me till we parted ways....
Rafting i wouldn't talk about... it took me to heaven but that aint important... you can read about it rafting adventures of 1000 other people and it will be the same for me... a bit here or there... but "Swalpa adjhust maadi saar"
After coming back from rafting to our "base camp"we had lunch and then went "hiking"... which actually meant walking on the river bank and that i waht i want to write about....why?? :-) obviously because i walked alone for sometime and it made me think... obviously.....
we walked on teh stony bank... because of the season the river isnt in full flow... which means these rocks on the banks are the ones which get eroded a major part of the year... which means they are really smooth... most of them very different from one another.... but all were very beautiful; some were not sooo rounded hence difficult to walk on...some were very slipper and hence the same problem....but yet they were all very beautiful...after walking a bit the rocks were even more beautiful... but somehow their beauty didn't leave an impact... may be because there were so many of them... may be because after seeing them for soo long the beauty didnt matter since it pleases only the heart but causes inconvenience hence.... i couldn't help noticing their increasing beauty and its decreasing impact... and then i thought of people... all of them beautiful.... but.....
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
50th post celebration!!!!!!
well long time ago... (almost 25 posts ago) i wanted to write something special because it was THE 25th post... i had taken a rain check that day... seems like it's time to en cash it!!! so it's "double whammy" today!!
Anyway this extra special post is dedicated to the people i love... people who make my life worthwhile... when i think of them i smile!! it makes me feel good....
yesterday was an interesting day... i experienced extreme disappointment... actually not disappointment but hurt... and extreme happiness in a matter of a few hours... and i was hurt not because someone wanted to hurt me or hurt me intentionally but because we all knew nothing can be done now... after all there is not much you can do to stop the clock from ticking can you??? but then my friends said... chuck everything.... everyone... and we just ignored time.... ignored our responsibilities our duties for a few hours... and we spent close to perfect few hours... we spent them together... we laughed we felt good... we felt life is good... it was good... i wouldn't even bother trying to put it in words.... for one i cant for two i dont want to!!
and then when i got back to work i worked with satisfaction i worked with a good feeling i worked with a smile i was happy... i was content... thanks to people i love....
they make me want to live... they make me realise the "real place" of work of money of... actually they help me set my priorities right... and then i think of some other people with may be there priorities a bit different and i say to myself... they dont know what they are missing... but then check myself too soon may be i dont know what i am missing... but then again... as long as i am happy does it matter.... as long as i can smile a lot and be happy lots of times does anything matter... as long as people i love are strong enough that i am not bothered by people who get on my nerves i am fine... just fine... no more "enhancements" required.... no more "patches" required.....
as long as i can say i love life... i am fine :-) and i do love life... specially since yesterday!! :-)
here's to the people i love... here's to the people who give me reason to live laugh smile cry feel be-hurt live ....
here's to life.....
Anyway this extra special post is dedicated to the people i love... people who make my life worthwhile... when i think of them i smile!! it makes me feel good....
yesterday was an interesting day... i experienced extreme disappointment... actually not disappointment but hurt... and extreme happiness in a matter of a few hours... and i was hurt not because someone wanted to hurt me or hurt me intentionally but because we all knew nothing can be done now... after all there is not much you can do to stop the clock from ticking can you??? but then my friends said... chuck everything.... everyone... and we just ignored time.... ignored our responsibilities our duties for a few hours... and we spent close to perfect few hours... we spent them together... we laughed we felt good... we felt life is good... it was good... i wouldn't even bother trying to put it in words.... for one i cant for two i dont want to!!
and then when i got back to work i worked with satisfaction i worked with a good feeling i worked with a smile i was happy... i was content... thanks to people i love....
they make me want to live... they make me realise the "real place" of work of money of... actually they help me set my priorities right... and then i think of some other people with may be there priorities a bit different and i say to myself... they dont know what they are missing... but then check myself too soon may be i dont know what i am missing... but then again... as long as i am happy does it matter.... as long as i can smile a lot and be happy lots of times does anything matter... as long as people i love are strong enough that i am not bothered by people who get on my nerves i am fine... just fine... no more "enhancements" required.... no more "patches" required.....
as long as i can say i love life... i am fine :-) and i do love life... specially since yesterday!! :-)
here's to the people i love... here's to the people who give me reason to live laugh smile cry feel be-hurt live ....
here's to life.....
Friday, February 29, 2008
busy busy busy busy
For the past few days while travelling I think i have to update my blog.. and it is generally very rare that i think of something to write way before i write it.... but this time there was this particular thing i wanted to write... but have been so busy of late... so busy haven't gotten even a minute away from work to write.... still now (past 12 midnite) i am in office.... taking a break .. so i thought will write... it is a stress reliever....
well here's what i was thinking about... i was thinking about rating my work days... like some days when i go back home i feel irritated i feel restless on other days i feel pretty happy satisfied... some days it is no feeling... so on and so forth... so i was thinking may be on a daily basis log what i feel (in an Excel??? ;-) ) like everyday after office when i reach home... just put the date and may be 'ok, bad, good, pathetic, very bad, very good, amazing' something to that extent... not rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 or sth... because frankly when people ask me to rate someone on a scale of 1 to 10 i just rate them as good bad ok,.. then scale it to 1 to 10 then add a decimal value to mock... like how would u rate that developer on a scale of 1 to 10... i think he is pretty good... although there is room for improvement... that'8 so i say anywhere between 8.25 and 8.5 ;-) and as i dont want to mock myself i will not rate it numerically and anyway numbers take the feeling away from feelings... although even words do... but here i am in the mood of some serious analysis.....
so at the end of a month may be i plot everything... day basis; date basis; and may be average out... find the mean and all.... and if the values are usually bad... or ok.. may be think of changing something at work... notice the effect... and so on....
why all this exercise... may be to keep myself busy... but i am already very busy.... why did i think of it then... oh yes i remember had a particularly bad day... actually a stretch of particularly bad days and was thinking what went wrong do i need to quit... and i came up with this "brilliant" mechanism and even while writing i realised it is like one of those things which i really mean to do but never end up doing....
but somehow the whole concept intrigues me... kind of taking myself tooo seriously... kind of a way to look at me as if i am not really me.... as if i am an "object of analysis/study" nice... look at myself while being detached with myself....
nice i say... what say you????
well here's what i was thinking about... i was thinking about rating my work days... like some days when i go back home i feel irritated i feel restless on other days i feel pretty happy satisfied... some days it is no feeling... so on and so forth... so i was thinking may be on a daily basis log what i feel (in an Excel??? ;-) ) like everyday after office when i reach home... just put the date and may be 'ok, bad, good, pathetic, very bad, very good, amazing' something to that extent... not rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 or sth... because frankly when people ask me to rate someone on a scale of 1 to 10 i just rate them as good bad ok,.. then scale it to 1 to 10 then add a decimal value to mock... like how would u rate that developer on a scale of 1 to 10... i think he is pretty good... although there is room for improvement... that'8 so i say anywhere between 8.25 and 8.5 ;-) and as i dont want to mock myself i will not rate it numerically and anyway numbers take the feeling away from feelings... although even words do... but here i am in the mood of some serious analysis.....
so at the end of a month may be i plot everything... day basis; date basis; and may be average out... find the mean and all.... and if the values are usually bad... or ok.. may be think of changing something at work... notice the effect... and so on....
why all this exercise... may be to keep myself busy... but i am already very busy.... why did i think of it then... oh yes i remember had a particularly bad day... actually a stretch of particularly bad days and was thinking what went wrong do i need to quit... and i came up with this "brilliant" mechanism and even while writing i realised it is like one of those things which i really mean to do but never end up doing....
but somehow the whole concept intrigues me... kind of taking myself tooo seriously... kind of a way to look at me as if i am not really me.... as if i am an "object of analysis/study" nice... look at myself while being detached with myself....
nice i say... what say you????
Friday, February 22, 2008
look into my eyes....
I felt like writing something but couldn't think of a suitable title... because i didnt know what i wanted to write... and to have a title before i start writing is kind of a must for me.... otherwise it will be like playing with a nameless baby when knowing the baby will be nameless till the time u are both in college!! So i thought of giving the first words that come to my ears after the thought, as title... good for me it was the song i had put on.... because frankly a title like "whats the transaction for mounting standard text into TR" would be very funny and strange to say the least :-)
i read this really interesting line in the paper... someone famous must have said it at some point of time... although i forget the name... "Money often costs a lot" i liked this line a lot... and it is now my status message too :-)
and that reminds me of this conversation i had read in a book recently:
Character1 : I will be happy if you dont repeat this
Character2 : Thanks i will remember it; and there's one thing you had told me earlier which would make you happy and i quite forget; but it is good to be prepared for situations you think will never occur ...
or something to that effect... it was a nice conversation and a nice book too... talking about books i have to buy another one i am quite out of books now... I wonder what i would do if it wasnt for books... life would be so boring!!
Friends family books shopping coffee chocolates flowers few things without which imagining life is almost impossible... now that i am imagining it i think even work is important so make it Friends family books shopping coffee chocolates flowers and work few things without which imagining life is almost impossible... although some ad said Impossible is nothing but i think this statement is nothing.... because frankly human imagination isn't far fetched enough to make words for nothing.... and if we make a word that means there is a possibility that it is... even if it is just in our imagination... so frankly nothing is nothing everything is something.... waao i like that statement!! ad dancing also to the list above! God if i keep writing this blog for some more time i think that list will become very very big.... so many things without which life sort of loses meaning... talking about life they will be screening life is beautiful on the TV sometime this weekend i think... i love that movie... i think there are very few people who dont... this movie is like that book The little Prince in this aspect... very few people who wouldn't like it... although i know a few people who would not like certain things just because they are critically acclaimed and universally liked.... but i think even those people will like both these.....
And now i am so sleepy (sleep another thing without which imagining life is difficult) that i will go get a cup of coffee... and u have a nice day/weekend!
Cheers:-)
i read this really interesting line in the paper... someone famous must have said it at some point of time... although i forget the name... "Money often costs a lot" i liked this line a lot... and it is now my status message too :-)
and that reminds me of this conversation i had read in a book recently:
Character1 : I will be happy if you dont repeat this
Character2 : Thanks i will remember it; and there's one thing you had told me earlier which would make you happy and i quite forget; but it is good to be prepared for situations you think will never occur ...
or something to that effect... it was a nice conversation and a nice book too... talking about books i have to buy another one i am quite out of books now... I wonder what i would do if it wasnt for books... life would be so boring!!
Friends family books shopping coffee chocolates flowers few things without which imagining life is almost impossible... now that i am imagining it i think even work is important so make it Friends family books shopping coffee chocolates flowers and work few things without which imagining life is almost impossible... although some ad said Impossible is nothing but i think this statement is nothing.... because frankly human imagination isn't far fetched enough to make words for nothing.... and if we make a word that means there is a possibility that it is... even if it is just in our imagination... so frankly nothing is nothing everything is something.... waao i like that statement!! ad dancing also to the list above! God if i keep writing this blog for some more time i think that list will become very very big.... so many things without which life sort of loses meaning... talking about life they will be screening life is beautiful on the TV sometime this weekend i think... i love that movie... i think there are very few people who dont... this movie is like that book The little Prince in this aspect... very few people who wouldn't like it... although i know a few people who would not like certain things just because they are critically acclaimed and universally liked.... but i think even those people will like both these.....
And now i am so sleepy (sleep another thing without which imagining life is difficult) that i will go get a cup of coffee... and u have a nice day/weekend!
Cheers:-)
Thursday, February 14, 2008
feel like a stranger
have you ever been in some place and still not felt like a part of that place... that's what i am feeling right now.... i came back to my city after years of wandering here and there ... i feel like a part of this city... but somehow i cant feel like a part of my office here... when people talk we have to do this we have to do that (wrt the office and not my project) i feel as if they are talking about some other place not MY office... as if i am just an onlooker not a contributor just looking at things not being a part... i had felt that way about cities earlier but never about my workplace.... i feel that way now... may be i just need time.... time to settle in absorb the atmosphere or something... but this place is so unlike the places i am used to work at... the atmosphere is entirely different .... i cant say good or bad.... it's just different... it's just not what i am used to may be... but when they talk about doing this implementing that i dont get that drive from within... and top it with an extremely involved feeling i get where my work (and that of my team's) is concerned... it becomes a funny mix... it becomes like being almost at the core of something and not being a part of the thing this something belongs to.... getting what i am saying....
but anyways.... work is work its not life....... and as long as it doesnt make me sad i am fine!!!
P.S: When i woke up today i badly wanted to listen to this song... i put on TV hoping against hope they will be showing it... they weren't!!! then while coming to office they were playing it on the Radio!! i was soo happy :-)
but anyways.... work is work its not life....... and as long as it doesnt make me sad i am fine!!!
P.S: When i woke up today i badly wanted to listen to this song... i put on TV hoping against hope they will be showing it... they weren't!!! then while coming to office they were playing it on the Radio!! i was soo happy :-)
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
the disco error is gone!!!
Oh how great it is when you spend some 4-5 hours on an issue... actually more than that... and finally solve it!!
specially when you had no clue as to the whys and whats of the error....
it just gives you peace and happiness and whatnot!! and you can really appreciate edison and his sentiments when he finally made that bulb...
aa ha ha... i can't express what i am feeling right now... eternal bliss!!! kya yahi pyaar hai ;-)
now i better push off... its past midnite... and i just want to go hit the bed!!!
specially when you had no clue as to the whys and whats of the error....
it just gives you peace and happiness and whatnot!! and you can really appreciate edison and his sentiments when he finally made that bulb...
aa ha ha... i can't express what i am feeling right now... eternal bliss!!! kya yahi pyaar hai ;-)
now i better push off... its past midnite... and i just want to go hit the bed!!!
Monday, February 11, 2008
kar le kar le
why this title... well i am talking to someone on phone regarding a bug he insists is present and i insist isn't... now since the bug is not getting replicated he is trying various perms combs and he said "let me try one more thing" and i said "kar le kar le" (translates to "go ahead do it" ) i just liked the phrase!
oh no the bug is replicated :(... oh oh its gone again!! i hate in consistent bugs....
oh thankfully the bug was replicated... and it wasnt an inconsistent bug... a very logical very proper bug... and obviously since it is a proper bug it is now fixed.... am calling that "bug finder" now to tell him the bug has been fixed!!!
how i love these bugs which have some sense associated with them... what i dont like is bugs like that disco error... will tell u sometime later what disco error is....
am going home now!!
bbye!
oh no the bug is replicated :(... oh oh its gone again!! i hate in consistent bugs....
oh thankfully the bug was replicated... and it wasnt an inconsistent bug... a very logical very proper bug... and obviously since it is a proper bug it is now fixed.... am calling that "bug finder" now to tell him the bug has been fixed!!!
how i love these bugs which have some sense associated with them... what i dont like is bugs like that disco error... will tell u sometime later what disco error is....
am going home now!!
bbye!
Monday, February 4, 2008
Sohniyo naraajgi taan nahin?????
My favouritest song these days... sohniyo naraajgi taan nahin... oh gall dil di je ikk keh diyaan*... sung by Soni Pabla... i dont think it is a new song... although i heard it only recently.... the song one is so upbeat and two is so respectful and yet flirty!!! a very rare combination... i think if someone was an elegant flirt they would think themselves reflected in this song :D
Oh how i irritated my bro by listening to it in a loop... again and again and yet again... so now i was waiting for my friend to finish work and was getting kinda bored so started listening to this song... even a monday is not that bad anymore!
I wish i had listened to it yesterday... after all yesterday was such a lazy day... almost spend the entire day indoors... i think i didnt even step outside the house door... leave aside the house gate!!!! Watched a few movies... old ones... and when there were no more DVDs to watch... put on TV... yesterday they were playing 'You've got mail' and 'Sleepless in Seattle' although not at the same time ;-) saw a part of both.... and remembered long time ago when i had seen Sleepless how i went and got 'an affair to remember' just because this movie talked about it... i like that part of sleepless where sm1 tells Meg Ryan... you don't want to be in love ... you want to be in love in a movie... i laugh so hard at this statement everytime i watch the movie!!!
moved on to another song... thekiyaan ch nit khadke... khadke galaasi tere naa te...* somehow i like this song too!!!! For this birthday someone 'gifted' me 'may you hear lots of good music' i think his wish is granted ;-)
Ni jind jaan waar denge ik teri nikki jahi haan te* :-)
*Contact me for translations
Oh how i irritated my bro by listening to it in a loop... again and again and yet again... so now i was waiting for my friend to finish work and was getting kinda bored so started listening to this song... even a monday is not that bad anymore!
I wish i had listened to it yesterday... after all yesterday was such a lazy day... almost spend the entire day indoors... i think i didnt even step outside the house door... leave aside the house gate!!!! Watched a few movies... old ones... and when there were no more DVDs to watch... put on TV... yesterday they were playing 'You've got mail' and 'Sleepless in Seattle' although not at the same time ;-) saw a part of both.... and remembered long time ago when i had seen Sleepless how i went and got 'an affair to remember' just because this movie talked about it... i like that part of sleepless where sm1 tells Meg Ryan... you don't want to be in love ... you want to be in love in a movie... i laugh so hard at this statement everytime i watch the movie!!!
moved on to another song... thekiyaan ch nit khadke... khadke galaasi tere naa te...* somehow i like this song too!!!! For this birthday someone 'gifted' me 'may you hear lots of good music' i think his wish is granted ;-)
Ni jind jaan waar denge ik teri nikki jahi haan te* :-)
*Contact me for translations
Thursday, January 24, 2008
its a sad sad day...
when i went home from work last night... i didnt leave my work at office i think.... no i didnt work at home but i went with a feeling which said lots of work to do tomorrow.... its gonna be a long long day.... when i woke up in the morning i think somewhere back of the mind the feeling was lingering.... i had a creased forehead.... infact i still have a creased forehead... the Gods however probably wanted my day to be better... the songs playing (i always put em on shuffle) were all happy ones... like the age old "congratulations and celebrations" somehow it didnt help as much as it should have
i came to office not looking forward to the day.... i started the day with an apprehension.... i have loads of work to do... i haven't really started working today... i know i should have.... a third of the day is gone... and no real work i dont like it... may be after writing this i will.,.....
the good thing is i got earphones to office today... i had earphones earlier... really pseud ones... left them on my desk and poof the next day they were gone... i haven't lost anything in office but earphones... i think what happens is someone who is working till lets say 1 in the night gets bored and tells himself/herself... God if only i could listen to some music.... goes to get coffee or sth and on the way sees earphones on a desk... takes them with full intention of returning... but somehow forgets... or may be forgets where he had taken em from... and hence keeps them with himself/herself... anyway so those really nice earphones i had spent a lot of money on were gone... and i got these complimentary ones... the ones u get on the flight and take with you... even if i lose these i wouldnt mind... so here i am listening to 'i tried so hard and got so far... but in the end it doesn't even matter' now i don't know whether to work or does it not really matter......
i just hope the day that is today ends fast... but with the pace i am woking at i doubt it will.....
anyway... all the best to me!!!
P.S: To do list-->
1. Return order auth form - delegated to someone
2. Sample order report - Important
3. order assignment report - equally important
4. BoM issues - need to guide...
i came to office not looking forward to the day.... i started the day with an apprehension.... i have loads of work to do... i haven't really started working today... i know i should have.... a third of the day is gone... and no real work i dont like it... may be after writing this i will.,.....
the good thing is i got earphones to office today... i had earphones earlier... really pseud ones... left them on my desk and poof the next day they were gone... i haven't lost anything in office but earphones... i think what happens is someone who is working till lets say 1 in the night gets bored and tells himself/herself... God if only i could listen to some music.... goes to get coffee or sth and on the way sees earphones on a desk... takes them with full intention of returning... but somehow forgets... or may be forgets where he had taken em from... and hence keeps them with himself/herself... anyway so those really nice earphones i had spent a lot of money on were gone... and i got these complimentary ones... the ones u get on the flight and take with you... even if i lose these i wouldnt mind... so here i am listening to 'i tried so hard and got so far... but in the end it doesn't even matter' now i don't know whether to work or does it not really matter......
i just hope the day that is today ends fast... but with the pace i am woking at i doubt it will.....
anyway... all the best to me!!!
P.S: To do list-->
1. Return order auth form - delegated to someone
2. Sample order report - Important
3. order assignment report - equally important
4. BoM issues - need to guide...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
where's the hurry?
last night while driving back from work i saw this traffic signal... the light was green... and i was a good hundred metres away from the "stop" line... the timer said 3 sec i accelerated(was already at 80kmph)... and right then a millisecond later i stopped accelerating... i was reminded of this other time i was going down the same road (albeit in the other direction and at the next traffic signal from this one) i was in the navigator's seat and one of my friends was driving... and we were in the same situation(3sec and 100mts) and i asked him to accelerate.. he didn't and instead asked me but why? i didn't have an answer for him... i really didn't!! not accelerating just meant another minute and a half at the signal and that is it... and it wasn't even as if we were getting late or going somewhere special or anything... just thought of spending time together and the car was as good a place as any......but it is just a tendency i have which makes me accelerate when near a traffic signal...
In fact on second thougths i do drive fast... not 80KMPH or anything... but average between 45-60 and on traffic less roads 65-100 and its not that i am always in a hurry or anything... no i am not... its not that i have to be in office by a certain time and always leave later than acceptable... i just drive at that speed... i do.... but that day i didn't have a valid answer for his question.....
i don't know where is the hurry most of the time.... why are we humans, as a race, as restless as we are... where do we want to reach.... haven't we been told enough times it's not about the destination but about the journey... don't we know it ourselves also.... don't we know that in reality there is no destination... only the journey... but still we over speed.... i even tend to get restless when someone is typing slow... i sometimes take the keyboard and start typing myself... may be to save time so that i can do a little bit more of nothing... may be to save time so that later i have more of it to kill.... "save time" doesn't even sound right... i mean i can save money it will remain... i can save trees they will grow... i can save the girl child... she will live... but save time... how can i ... time will pass... it knows nothing else but to pass..... i can never save enough of it.... on my deathbed i can't say i saved time all my life so i still have 5 more years.... no... it doesn't happen like that... time passes... so where's the hurry?????
P.S:
In fact on second thougths i do drive fast... not 80KMPH or anything... but average between 45-60 and on traffic less roads 65-100 and its not that i am always in a hurry or anything... no i am not... its not that i have to be in office by a certain time and always leave later than acceptable... i just drive at that speed... i do.... but that day i didn't have a valid answer for his question.....
i don't know where is the hurry most of the time.... why are we humans, as a race, as restless as we are... where do we want to reach.... haven't we been told enough times it's not about the destination but about the journey... don't we know it ourselves also.... don't we know that in reality there is no destination... only the journey... but still we over speed.... i even tend to get restless when someone is typing slow... i sometimes take the keyboard and start typing myself... may be to save time so that i can do a little bit more of nothing... may be to save time so that later i have more of it to kill.... "save time" doesn't even sound right... i mean i can save money it will remain... i can save trees they will grow... i can save the girl child... she will live... but save time... how can i ... time will pass... it knows nothing else but to pass..... i can never save enough of it.... on my deathbed i can't say i saved time all my life so i still have 5 more years.... no... it doesn't happen like that... time passes... so where's the hurry?????
P.S:
" After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say I want to see the manager. " - William Burroughs
Friday, January 18, 2008
Its a friday!!!
its a Friday and i aint in the Friday mood... the mood that just makes you happy and makes you jump with joy.... not really jump- jump but the "spring in your step" jump... when you are cheerfull and happy the whole day just because it is a friday... i am more in a Monday mood today and i know not why.... i am feeling so sleepy that if given an option i would have slept right now.... top it with everyone else being in the friday mode and hence not much work for me.... actually what i would really like right now is go to a coffee shop and read a nice book...
talking about books i recently started reading The Catcher in the Rye... Again... it is one of my fav books.... i was looking for something the other day and found this book instead... so i started it... and i loved it as much as last time... one thing that the book says stuck... the narrator is talking about visiting a museum again and again over a period of many years and wondering how everything is exactly the same... then he says it is not same since i have changed everytime i visit it.... same with me for this book... everytime i read it i have changed from the previous time... its a nice feeling.....
Another book i love and have read various times... To kill a mocking Bird and then of course there is the little prince not to miss the adventures of a dog by the night time i can't go on listing the books... but everytyime i read any of these i feel great!! i feel good from within... infact thinking of that brother in the mocking bird thinking now that we have made so solid a point nothing can stop us from winning makes me smile... thinking of the prince looking at the farm filled with roses and the fox(or was it wolf) explaining him about how his rose is special makes me think about people who are special to me.... i wish i could write a master piece like that,..... then even if it wasnt published i wouldn't mind... i would just read it everytime i was blue.... and then in addition to the book making me feel good i would have felt extra good thinking i was able to write something like this......
considering i am on a wishing spree i wish i could sing well too.... and paint and dance .... and...........
thank God writing this and thinking about all these book has decreased my yawning frequency!!!
now back to work :-)
talking about books i recently started reading The Catcher in the Rye... Again... it is one of my fav books.... i was looking for something the other day and found this book instead... so i started it... and i loved it as much as last time... one thing that the book says stuck... the narrator is talking about visiting a museum again and again over a period of many years and wondering how everything is exactly the same... then he says it is not same since i have changed everytime i visit it.... same with me for this book... everytime i read it i have changed from the previous time... its a nice feeling.....
Another book i love and have read various times... To kill a mocking Bird and then of course there is the little prince not to miss the adventures of a dog by the night time i can't go on listing the books... but everytyime i read any of these i feel great!! i feel good from within... infact thinking of that brother in the mocking bird thinking now that we have made so solid a point nothing can stop us from winning makes me smile... thinking of the prince looking at the farm filled with roses and the fox(or was it wolf) explaining him about how his rose is special makes me think about people who are special to me.... i wish i could write a master piece like that,..... then even if it wasnt published i wouldn't mind... i would just read it everytime i was blue.... and then in addition to the book making me feel good i would have felt extra good thinking i was able to write something like this......
considering i am on a wishing spree i wish i could sing well too.... and paint and dance .... and...........
thank God writing this and thinking about all these book has decreased my yawning frequency!!!
now back to work :-)
Monday, January 7, 2008
opposites attract... likes repel???
"opp attract likes repel"....might be true for magnetic poles and may be charges... but is it true for peolpe too???
i was just thinking about this the other day... of course we all know we cannot form rules when it comes to people.... people have this uncanny habit of not fitting in any rules!!! but still i was wondering lets say two opposite people.... but how do we say two people are opposite.... ok let me modify the statement two people having opposite choices are together.... i doubt if they will be happy.... imagine they have 3 hours.... they wouldnt be able to decide a movie to watch... since we are talking about opposite choices means they will have no middle ground... so the movie one wants to watch is the movie the other will not watch even if paid to do so!!!! so opposites might attract in case of people but they cannot be together for long!!! bound to fight....
on the other hand lets take the example of two likes being together (ok like dissolves like ;-) ) like two opposite people two like people are also people with same choices.... so now these two people are together they like the same kind of movies same kind of books same kind of clothes everything.... so they co exist peacefully.... and may be even happily.... but what about 'growth' you are with someone who thinks like you... you agree on all things... there is no one to give you a different perspective... there is no one to tell you have you tried this author... you might like it.... and although this isn't your type of an author you still like his work... a bit different from your usual stuff but once in a while different is a good.... a nice breath of fresh air... and is definitely required... but you wouldnt get it if you are with a person almost exactly like you....
although i understand that it is difficult to find two people having identical choices... but highly similar choices will also become suffocating after some time.... i am almost sure.....
think the winning formula is thoda this thoda that... similar yet different.... atleast you can help each other grow and at the same time not tear one another's clothes!!!
and why this general statement and general write up out of nowhere.... well generally ;-)
P.S: I forgive my father....I forgive women.....I forgive my boss....I forgive the government....I forgive my barber.....I forgive my past.... I forgive them all..... I feel like...I feel like GOD!
-Bajaj Avenger TVC
i was just thinking about this the other day... of course we all know we cannot form rules when it comes to people.... people have this uncanny habit of not fitting in any rules!!! but still i was wondering lets say two opposite people.... but how do we say two people are opposite.... ok let me modify the statement two people having opposite choices are together.... i doubt if they will be happy.... imagine they have 3 hours.... they wouldnt be able to decide a movie to watch... since we are talking about opposite choices means they will have no middle ground... so the movie one wants to watch is the movie the other will not watch even if paid to do so!!!! so opposites might attract in case of people but they cannot be together for long!!! bound to fight....
on the other hand lets take the example of two likes being together (ok like dissolves like ;-) ) like two opposite people two like people are also people with same choices.... so now these two people are together they like the same kind of movies same kind of books same kind of clothes everything.... so they co exist peacefully.... and may be even happily.... but what about 'growth' you are with someone who thinks like you... you agree on all things... there is no one to give you a different perspective... there is no one to tell you have you tried this author... you might like it.... and although this isn't your type of an author you still like his work... a bit different from your usual stuff but once in a while different is a good.... a nice breath of fresh air... and is definitely required... but you wouldnt get it if you are with a person almost exactly like you....
although i understand that it is difficult to find two people having identical choices... but highly similar choices will also become suffocating after some time.... i am almost sure.....
think the winning formula is thoda this thoda that... similar yet different.... atleast you can help each other grow and at the same time not tear one another's clothes!!!
and why this general statement and general write up out of nowhere.... well generally ;-)
P.S: I forgive my father....I forgive women.....I forgive my boss....I forgive the government....I forgive my barber.....I forgive my past.... I forgive them all..... I feel like...I feel like GOD!
-Bajaj Avenger TVC
Friday, January 4, 2008
over rated is it?
there are lots of things overrated in life/world... clearest example being brands... too overrated at too many places!!! then take the example of 'air travel' most over rated form of travel... in fact talking about over rating i think even childhood is too overrated... i mean it wasnt all that great as it is made out to be... it just was like now just is.... but well this doesn't really matter....
but what is highly overrated and effects all of us is success.... i want to be successfull in life... whatever that means... if you ask people to define success i am almost sure there wouldn't be any consistency in the definition and i am also almost sure that there wouldnt be any quantitative definitions.... people are so hung up on success... wait let me find the dictionary meaning of success... "1. obsolete : outcome result 2 a: degree or measure of succeeding b: favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence3: one that succeeds" Source: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/success
I have everything in life that i can want for a comfortable living.... everything... but still i dont think i am very successful... but the thing is i dont even want to be.... i think the expectation from me is that i keep wanting more... keep wanting something i dont have and achieving it... it is one thing today another tomorrow and another day after.... i might own a very successfull business... but no thats not enough.... i have to aquire other businesses i have to keep on growing.... what is the motive of life... what??? why????
anyway.... i am successfull enough... and i dont want anything else in life... i know saying that is as good as comitting suicide..... but then again.....
manzil se keh do meri raah naa dekhe... main naa rukoongaa..... main azaad hoon.....
P.S: Have you ever argued with someone over something... about the future... and the test of time proved you right and wondered but why was i right... couldnt i be wrong this one time???
but what is highly overrated and effects all of us is success.... i want to be successfull in life... whatever that means... if you ask people to define success i am almost sure there wouldn't be any consistency in the definition and i am also almost sure that there wouldnt be any quantitative definitions.... people are so hung up on success... wait let me find the dictionary meaning of success... "1. obsolete : outcome result 2 a: degree or measure of succeeding b: favorable or desired outcome; also : the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence3: one that succeeds" Source: http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/success
I have everything in life that i can want for a comfortable living.... everything... but still i dont think i am very successful... but the thing is i dont even want to be.... i think the expectation from me is that i keep wanting more... keep wanting something i dont have and achieving it... it is one thing today another tomorrow and another day after.... i might own a very successfull business... but no thats not enough.... i have to aquire other businesses i have to keep on growing.... what is the motive of life... what??? why????
anyway.... i am successfull enough... and i dont want anything else in life... i know saying that is as good as comitting suicide..... but then again.....
manzil se keh do meri raah naa dekhe... main naa rukoongaa..... main azaad hoon.....
P.S: Have you ever argued with someone over something... about the future... and the test of time proved you right and wondered but why was i right... couldnt i be wrong this one time???
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
happy new year!
the title is just keeping in mind the atmosphere and the time... and it has not got much to do with the post.... although now that i have this title i might as well make it appropriate!!
so the post is now about the way i spent the 1st day of 2008!!!
what a day it was... i took a peak into my life as it will be after i retire... not just retire from work to do something i really like... but retire for good...
woke up around 8.30 (very early by my holiday standards)... dropped mom to work (when i retire i might be dropping my kids to school ... if they are still in school that is ;-) )came back got dressed for a day of nothingness.... had breakfast.....
after that for more than an hour i just lay in the sun on an easy chair (almost a beach chair actually) reading a newspaper... then for the next hour i must have read another newspaper ;-) and so i spent a few hours reading various newspapers... all of them talked about new year bashes new year resolutions and new year plans and what not... it felt as if for once the newspapers had something to talk about and they were overwhelmed with the fact and just putting everything into print... without giving much thought to editing....
actually it wasnt that bad... but yeah it was too much of 'new year/2008' ... then i just lay in the sun doing nothing.... then i started reading a book... had lunch (complete with my fav winters dessert) then continued reading the book... still in the sun..... talked to a few friends in between... was too lazy to call any... just talked to those who were nice enough to call me ;-)
then after a few hours of reading the book and travelling in the fantasy world i took a nap... a small one... woke up... went to pick up mom.... then we shopped... didnt find what i was looking for... so that was some 2 hours spent going to various shops with heating and then coming out to the biting cold and then going in again!!! i wonder that i am not sick with cold etc!!
came back home... had a good dinner... watched some sitcoms on TV and then went to sleep!!!!
what a day it was... lazing around and without that feeling u get if u spend the entire day lazing around in the room (and not the sun :-) )
They say the entire year is similar to what you do on new years.... how i hope this is true :-) !!
so the post is now about the way i spent the 1st day of 2008!!!
what a day it was... i took a peak into my life as it will be after i retire... not just retire from work to do something i really like... but retire for good...
woke up around 8.30 (very early by my holiday standards)... dropped mom to work (when i retire i might be dropping my kids to school ... if they are still in school that is ;-) )came back got dressed for a day of nothingness.... had breakfast.....
after that for more than an hour i just lay in the sun on an easy chair (almost a beach chair actually) reading a newspaper... then for the next hour i must have read another newspaper ;-) and so i spent a few hours reading various newspapers... all of them talked about new year bashes new year resolutions and new year plans and what not... it felt as if for once the newspapers had something to talk about and they were overwhelmed with the fact and just putting everything into print... without giving much thought to editing....
actually it wasnt that bad... but yeah it was too much of 'new year/2008' ... then i just lay in the sun doing nothing.... then i started reading a book... had lunch (complete with my fav winters dessert) then continued reading the book... still in the sun..... talked to a few friends in between... was too lazy to call any... just talked to those who were nice enough to call me ;-)
then after a few hours of reading the book and travelling in the fantasy world i took a nap... a small one... woke up... went to pick up mom.... then we shopped... didnt find what i was looking for... so that was some 2 hours spent going to various shops with heating and then coming out to the biting cold and then going in again!!! i wonder that i am not sick with cold etc!!
came back home... had a good dinner... watched some sitcoms on TV and then went to sleep!!!!
what a day it was... lazing around and without that feeling u get if u spend the entire day lazing around in the room (and not the sun :-) )
They say the entire year is similar to what you do on new years.... how i hope this is true :-) !!
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