Tuesday, June 19, 2007

could be worse i believe

I am in office... its arnd 7.30 PM local time... have a bad head ache... my eyes are paining too... though i doubt the will be red.... the ac is a bit too cold for my comfort... it generally is... especially in the evenings when people leave so the heat generated goes down therefore the net cooling effect is higher than that during the day... the ac duct is right over my head therefore my seat is generally cooler than the other areas on the floor.... which means i have goose pimples and a slight ache in my shoulder too.... and the fingers are on the numb side.... i am waiting for the functional consultant to ok the chanegs so that i can move them to test environment and go back home while he does a comprehensive test... i just got a bad news.... this project i was chosen for... because i am one of the more experienced people in the team, the functional consultant assigned to it is someone who is absolutely new, knows nothing about this particular thing we are gonna work on... i felt terrible.... i was so angry i told my manager if he works i wouldnt work on it... make someone else do that... i think i shouldnt have said tht..... but i was angry... it made me feel that when they said you have to do it because we cant trust anyone else to do it, it was not really thta....
and now i am in a soup for opening my big mouth... because they are against me fr saying that the fc is not competent enough..... thr problem who am i to say it??
Yes who am i to say it??? infact who am i at all??? i dont know ... am i my name? am i my degree? am i my qualifications? am i my friends? am i my family? am i my face? am i my structure? am i my emotions? who am i? what would my epitaph read.....
i hate it.....
lets see how worse can things get... i am sure they can get much worse..... hope fr the best/worst...

2 comments:

Aneesh or whatever said...

the other day i was wondering about the urdu word for epitahp... after lots of search i formed the word myself sang-e-maqbara... Actually i discovered the word, not sure of its correctness... but that is what life is... we try and find out what we are from what limited knowledge we have, and try to put them in place and feel happy or sad about the outcome... so i think if it is in my hand to discover my life, why not discover something which is beautiful....

Unknown said...

one of the humanities course i was forced to take up during graduation was Psychology, and i hated it.... but there are few things they taught us their which have stuck... like how this guy thought our thinking is limited/shaped by our language...
so Epitaph having no urdu is ok....
i couldnt write the link which seemed so clear in my brain though!