meetings meetings and more meetings!

i had started writing about meetings and how i have had infinite hours of meetings in the past 2 days and how i dont like it and general crib... but then the song played "waqt rehta nahin kahin tik kar... iski fitrat bhi aadmi si hai" (roughly translates to time doesn't stay.... like humans) interesting.... everytime i hear this line it takes me somewhere... to some point in my life... not the same point always... but some point... specifically some people.... people who haven't stayed... people who have strayed... and i wonder why have they been left behind!! and then i think about people who have stayed...
and now i am thinking about the day i had... and wondering why was i so worked up when i reached back from office.. its not like i haven't had hectic days at work... and today wasn't the most hectic i have had... and it wasnt even as if nothing was going my way... actually if i have to put a finger at what went wrong today... nothing did... the meetings were fruitful... as in they weren't an entire waste of time... the time i wasnt in a meeting was very effectively used... but somehow something was wrong today... add to it all the weather was very good today the entire day... and it wasnt oh the weather is so good what am i doing in office feeling... so that wasnt bad... but something was missing fromthe day... when i came back i was thankful teh day was over... know what i mean... and i have noticed after a day like this i end up fearing the next day... although there is nothing to fear... but i just dont want office tomorrow... sometimes i just want to quit... quit everything... quit work.. quit people.... quit life... for a good 2 months... go to a land of no one knows mei know no one,.... be there... no cell phone no tv no comp no newspaper... stay thr... for a month or so... or may be if i am comfortable.. stay forever... maybe start the life over... no hand\gups from the apst... none... no memories... none good none bad... a life without the in the good old days... or last time i did this or friends from my past... you know like a complete memory refresh... kind of learn everything again,... right from doubting people to knowing that the hero in the movie cannot really do all that stuff himself... be amazed... i wonder when was the last time i was truly amazed... amazed as in eyes left wide open amazed... dont know when was the last time i was afraid... oh no i remember that... that was before the "jump off from the cliff into the river"
i remember asking myself... and why do i have to do it... what will i gain... i am somehow reminded of "the death of my first love changed the meaning of love for me forever"
thank God for atleast one strong feeling in a long time..... otherwise have been pretty dead for a long time...