generally i sleep well.... its not that i always have a dreamless sleep... but most of my dreams are nice, calm and peaceful... or downright senseless..... sometimes a bit confused.....very rare (very very rare) i get scary dreams.... i dont remember waking up scared because of a dream.... although i remember waking up all of a sudden from sleep (long time ago when i was sick with viral fever) because in my dream i had fallen from somewhere... woke up with a shiver and realised nothing wrong and slept again... in fact this happened a lot many times during that one week i was down with fever.... but it was nothing.....
last night although (actually morning since i slept at 5) when i slept i was feeling kind of eerie... so silent so dark and reading about voldemort and killing and what not.... may be i was scared... dont know... more than that it was loneliness... i wanted someone to be in my room... and the 3-4 hours that i slept it was a disturbed sleep... i dont remember any of the dreams i had... but i remember loads of harry potter vs. voldemort things going on in my mind....
nice how imagination screws you up.... and in retrospect; it feels fear is nothing but imagination.... although it is one of the stronger feelings (very few people can ignore it); but i still think it is an imaginary thing... happiness sadness jealousy etc are very real feelings... but fear... what is fear? uncertainity? when are we certain... never.... right from the basic facts like earth revolves around the sun (remember relative motion... who knows what is revolving around what take a bigger picture) to 2 + 2 is 4 (what is 1,2,3,4 some convention only meaning nothing, more like a law rather than a fact) to weather it will be sunny tomorrow... nothing is certain.... so why be scared... why fear.... may be feel sad... but be scared...
i am trying to say something here... dont know whether to myself ... as in to convince myself... or to tell everyone what i realised... i dont know... but right now i have this very strong feeling that fear is nothing... just a fragment of my imagination.... and how can i be scared of something that is a part of me.... i love myself.... love is good... happy not scary.......
yet last night i was scared......
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6 comments:
Nice dream. Watch 1408.And perhaps you are right. It was the loneliness perhaps accentuated by the eerie atmosphere.And for disturbed sleep, that could be the reason of your Harry Potter vs whoever.As for fear, it not about uncertainity because that makes you anxious and jittery. So that finishes off that thing. Fear IMHO is the feeling of being helpless when you believe that something could be lost which is dear to you.Now, whats dear to you maybe your marks which is related to your dreams etc or your life or your mobile since you feel attached to it and believe that loosing it, you will loose a sense of belonging so on and so forth.Uncertainity can breed fear but only when you start feeling a possibility of something bad happening( in the context of above ).
Fear is not an imagination it's a real feeling same as others.But it also is part of you. You needn't be scared of it since it's part of you but you can feel it which can be scary.
So you get scared also!!
Of Course i get scared :P Who doesn't.....
But yeah... Fear is as real as happiness... but today i am not scared of fear... or of being scared... know what i mean.... Because "Main khush hoon aaj kham-a-kha" :-)
Seems you have found the secret that 'dervesh' used to have. Enjoy!!!
"dervesh" ????
ha ha ha ..can't believe u getting scared..!
N btw.. Why fear...... when hunter is here.....:)
tu pitega!!
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