A blank page

I open the blog and stare at it... it's just a blank sheet of paper... i can make it into whatever i like....

I think about all the things that are going in my head... of all the pending work... and the things to do... the lists on paper and the lists in the head... the list in the head being the scarier of the two... it's in the head probably because i am too scared to put it on paper for fear then i will have to do it ... be answerable... in head it's just a worry... worries i can deal with... on paper i dont know what it will become... rather i dont know when will it be ticked as "done"... you have to let some things take their time..... not push them... this is what i tell myself when i am putting off something for sometime... now is not the right time for this... and it is very important to do things like these at the right time....

I think of what i was thinking when i opened the editor... sure it wasnt lists i was thinking about... if it was i wouldn't have opened blogger at all... it's not on any of my lists! i was thinking of thoughts... of how a simple sheet of paper can be turned into anything... merely from my thinking it... it can be turned into a story ... or a mail... a technical document...... a resume... or may be even the gist of your life....
although that would be a little difficult to do... how do you put the gist of your life on paper... how do you know the gist of your life... this somehow reminds me of "zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance" one of the few books i was unable to finish reading... despite it being interesting in it's own way!! well in Zen he says that he asked his class to write about sth and a student came up to him and asked what about and he said may be about the street you grew up in she says how can one write a long essay about that... theres not much to write about anyway... the prof says why dont you write about the house you grew up in... and she (gets pissed i guess) and goes away comes back on the day of the submission and says i couldn't get beyond the 1st few bricks... there's so much to write about all of them... well i forgot the point i was about to make with this whole Zen story... but i promise there was a point.. and it was interesting... at least to me... anyway talking about Zen i remember way back when i was reading the book... i was sitting on a beach and reading it... waao!! what fun... on a weekend... take a coffee go to the beach and read... what else do you want from life!! anyway so when i was reading the book a freind messaged me... and i messaged him back and i quoted from the book... i was reading it and i guess you can have sth suiting any of life's situations in that book... and i read only half of it mind you... anyway so i messaged it to him and he replies saying waao!! to be able to quote from Zen...  i wish i could read the whole book... and remember it... what i remember the most from the book is that the guy compared a motorcycle and a car... according to him travelling in a car is like watching a movie... you see evrything but you are not a part of it... being on a bike is being part of that movie... well sometimes the pollution and the heat is so high you are glad you are just watching the movie and not really in it... I watched Inception yesterday loved the movie... but i wouldn't want to be in it if it was real... who wnats their thoughts extracted and manipulated etc.... the thoughts that reach the conscious are scary enough most of the times... why mess with the subconscious!! it's subconscious for a reason... you dont know that reason you better not mess with it..... it still was a nice movie... an idea is like a virus!! indeed it is... dont i regret so many of my ideas! dont i wish i could undo a lot of spur of the moment things i did because of an idea i got that seemed so brilliant then and so stupid now....

aah work's calling... got to go!!!